so the answer is??

Well God silly ;) But we rebel. Yes, normal for abused people not to trust. But the very wounded are still here bc they are fighters! Fighter fight on. So we just need the right training. We crave that. Abused kids have no direction (except satans constant brain washing). Kids want to fight the good fight we just get let down. Beat down. So, we grow up hating. Secretly hating ourselves - but only the very brave (and most pained) will admit that (and live). So be real as they say. Be you. Be honest, stop bowing to the wrong god. We get what we give. And Hurt People Hurt. So that vicious cycle as they say. So the truth is the answer. Now most people think Xians are hypocrites (and most are). Who cares, why let that stop you from Your Personal Relationship with the Lord. And God says dont judge - discern. AND have compassion. AND help other AT ALL TIMES NO MATTER WHAT. Well right there is where the hypocrisy comes in.

When I was a kid, young, not sure what age but I heard (from God) that Satan will use religion more than anything against people. Will use God against God. Yes! That is it! Father of lies. Deceptive master at it. We are mindless really most of the time (what experts say we only use 3 % of our brain ;) So we need to be taught. We just teach the wrong things here.

Most dont have a clue of what they believe in??? And then there are the staunch. All talk, no action. Look at me... judged my whole life in school grade K-12 (unfortunate for me I didnt homeschool ;) Still now. I still deal with having compassion for the sick (even when they think they are the pious ;)

God so rewards your hard, efforts, your forging thru but he wants you to rejoice in your problems so u are singing and dancing even if you are in a bad situation (oh say like your car is 3 months past due and you are in tons of pain and need a surgery you cant afford, and you want your kids back but you dont have enough money to raise them ;)

No wonder people think I am a lunatic ;) I am ;) But crazy in love with God ~ it is supernatural ;)

People love evil spirits and have no problem believing in that! Weird to me that people think The Holy Spirit is not real. Call it out it says ;) & you will feel the Mighty Powers of God work in your life. Be wild & crazy dance like King David but make sure you are stick to God like glue ;)

So some say I am confusing, i make up my own stuff - no look it up and its says it all in there ;) I study hard. Now I want more ;) God is good like that. When you are so abused and deprived of good any little crumbs are like a feast. Now 10 -20 yrs later I want more - i see that now ;) but not for me. not worldly things i want myself to be the person God wants me to be - but that took 10 yrs to be ready. 13 really.

I am learning to rejoice in the waiting time ;)