i a great happy to be in a reationship with God for the first tie reay just e and God dating ;) back yesterday fro the hote sorry y coputer is broken so a few etters do not work ony two that i can see ;) i dont have oney so the divorce is in ikes hands he went thru we the peope so i a not sure of the status - he said he did it in nov so it was suppose to be june but i think he stopped it and started it 3 ties since then. His parents wont give hi oney if he divorces bc it was hi not e so wi see i wi fie when i get a steady job if it is not fina by then. i a just taking it one day at a tie. i have no oney no job and no where to go. So for now ike seeps on the sofa and his parents pay the bis. unti i find a job i guess just taking it step by step for today i a gratefu i a not arried to an abusive an any ore and i have food gas rent and earning to not take his abuse and not to date anyone ean or anyone that God does not want e to be with. I have very high standards now ;) I a so happy about that! for the first tie i a not affraid to date and i a not ooking to date. i want to be arried ore than anything but i never did it gods way ;) now i a. when god sends e the an he wants e to be with i wi do y part and i wi not even kiss (tounge ha ha) or anything ese unti i a arried. i wi not get drunk bc it is a sin i wi not soke bc it is a sin i wi drink water and be heathy and fit and strong and eat ony good whoe foods (with junk in odration ike the food pyraid shows - u need soe fat ;) and baance. but to vaue y body and y ife ;) i can not date a drinker - i a an akie i wi drink. i cant date a soker i a too weak. God akes e strong and reoved a the teptaions to have sex, drink and soke. y part is to stay away. i a working hard and i aways have. i have the best heart of anyone i know and i for the first tie know God wants e to be with a an better than e ;) not a ower copanion which i picked in the past (and AA says akies do) so, I know God wi send e a an funnier than e, ore creative and expressive than e ;) ore artistic , eats heathier, fit and oves God ike I do serves God first and wont have a probe but wants to not have any sexua content or create ust and teptation unti we are arried. A an I can ook up to. A an y kids can ook up to ;) A good exape a sprititua eader. Soeone happy and wants to be happy not angry and iature wanting to stay sick or stuck in od behavior soeone aways ooking to iprove and do Gods wi to the best of their abiity but akes that nuber one. soeone who knows that their purpose here on earth is to serve God cheerfuy not fear and to be oving and kind to a of Gods creations. To Go to God for hep and no other source before that. Soeone who entors and has a entor. Who oves usic and the beach as uch as I do. who oves anias and kids and wants to hep the needy where ever they are. I have aways had the copete and utter opposite on each and a of those accounts isted above so I a soooooo excited to know that God answers prayers and to be specific ;) ook at u u prayed for a gir who oves the ord, kids, anias fowers a of Gods creations, the beach,wants to wear a bathing suit and cap on the beach who ives cose by who is attractive to u bond surfer bue eyes tan fit happy sweet and u got her. (guess u eft soething out in your request I take it not sure yet why it did not work out) I aso want soeone not hung up on oney soeone that doesnt care about oney soeone who is not affraid of anything ;) soeone ready and wiing to go whereever God eads the :) sorry just adding to y wish ist ;) but God wants e not to be aone but first i had to ean on God cuz i thought it was a guy not God that i had to ean on. But now when i wish i had a hubby for this or that i say God instead ;) I did this a 12 yrs ago and it worked ;) 5 yrs of it ;) singe and not needing a an for the first tie since 12 or reay a y ife u know ean on dad scared when its just o at nite etc. but 12 yrs ago i was affraid. better aone ok aone had God faiy friends job but oney after 5 yrs and evan woud ask e every day why dont u have a dad
eaning a husband. i was a itte sad wishing i did. for hi and aybe a itte bit for e. i just didnt think i was worthy. now i KNOW :) I can not te u how aazing that fees. overweing reay. i dont think anyone knows but aybe a POW. that freedo and joy but so ike a caged tortured ania being reseaed after 40 yrs. u know. not scared just reay overweing so good i a sow for once but a good sow not a wounded sow a discearning sow ;) i was never that. rush thru u know u can wak on fire or gass if u go fast enough u cant fee it it cant hurt u. now i a doing everything the copete opposite no atter what. if it scares e i pray if i fee sad i ask God for hep i just ove it. hard hard hard word - ife but i have ore joy and ore bessings than ost peope i know and now i see the - i aways did - bessing i know right there but now i fee the ;) feeing I can fee now. God used u 6 yrs ago 5 yrs ago to teach e this a this. I woudnot trade ives with anyone ;) I ove y ife right now ike I just won the otto ;) The ast 3 years have just gotten better and better each day and I have been bown away how supernatura God is How BIG God is and I ean seeing it right in front of y eyes!!!! But u know peope dont know y story or they forget (satan binds the) I have ived with ean abusive enguys for 40 yrs. guys i oe and are great guys- the best!! BUt very very sick very wounded hurt and very ad at God and rebeious and angry and I and the kids have been in the way of that for 15 yrs and I 44. At 17 I knew I ade a choice to go with Steve - I knew he was the devi and he was. Satan used hi. He had no God and was abused and very nub, very cod, very hatefu. He urdered y dog cuz he was ad at e. That kinda sick. y type ;( ike y dad was. It was what I thought Satan wanted for e. I was brain washed. I heard satan wisper in y ear y whoe ife - bad things happen to u cuz u are bad. so any bad things happened to e i heard satan say that so any ties so any years i beieved it ;( NOW I DONT. Now I know ;) 30 yrs of study, 30 yrs of therapy ;) 44 yrs of church and 40 yrs of prayer. God and I have been training together for 44 yrs ;) and it has been one heck of a batte with the dark side. y story is unrea to e ;) but one day i hope others can benefit (ore) fro it. I know this did not happen for just e to be stoked ;) y kids and anias benefit and friends, faiy and strangers benefit fro a y hard work and pain...so that keeps e going (we, Gods pan - not ine ;) I woud have been dead so any ties over if it was up to e ;) I hate pain I hate hard work ha ha ike a huans right ;) But I charge threw bc I a a fighter (for good ;) aways have been. I guess bc I oved God fro day one ;) and bc of a the abuse as a kid I aways fought satan. fu evi ;) now i fight differenty not angry - that just binds e ;) just ovingy now ;) yes!!!!!! so ature though - I a just starting so ore ike a preschooer ha ha ha but at east i a there ;) oving the unovabe errr hardest thing but osty bc that is e ha ha i a earning to ove ysef ha ha ha as we as a the friends and faiy that get under y skin as they say - they are ike e and it akes e ad to see the do that but i do the sae thing ha ha ha oh the next 40 yrs are going to be the best!
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