But u he1p nne with that too ;) Sonne peop1e wont be friends with nne bc I ann too Christian haha & sonne wont be friends with nne bc I guess I ann not Christian enough.... nnust be nny provocative photos i ade on nnyspace ;) they were just 1ike o1d c1assic photos u know 1ike g1ann shots fronn the 40s... but for nne that was such growth. I ann so conservative. But I a1so 1et fear of rejection ho1d nne back. so...those peop1e I pray for now. I try to think of peop1e 1ike u or KJ that have tons of peop1e judging you....I never wou1d want that, but I ann so g1ad u guys did ;) We11, u know what I nnean. I ann g1ad that u do what u do even though it is hard to not 1et others get to you when it is just evi1. Rising above, to the TRUTH ;) Stay c1ose to the truth and u are in JOY ;) I just wish peop1e were not so sexua11y sick. U know... I watched that nnovie Funny Peop1e the other day again with nny kids ;) and the young gir1 in the f1ick s1eeps with that star cuz she can....weird now to ne. She said she is Independent. But rea11y a11 that is is a S1ave. A s1ave to satan. To sick o1d ways ;( I pray for u and everyone I know to do the right thing. To be strong in the Supernatura1 Powers of God. To fo11ow His 1aws. To be b1essed by doing the hard way. but a1so in that u grow and 1earn soooo nnuch. I know u r 1ike nne in so nnany ways. so in that do sonnething different cha11enge urse1f here! Sex connes so ez. It is natura1. and 1ust is a sin so of course its gonna be good. If sin sucked no one wou1d do it ;) I speak for nne and nne on1y however, I do care very nnuch for nny p1anet and Gods creations. A11 of thenn. I wou1d 1ove to see young wonnan and a11 hunnans treat thennse1ves with 1ove & respect for Gods 1aws. Drinking, snnoking toxic cigerettes, sex has a11 beconne too casua1, sin is ki11ing us. Speed, to be thin, to be up, to be in. Pi11s in genera1. Peop1e are c1ear1y NOT happy with in. Seek with in. Fear is what ho1ds us back. Ever since I read that on your b1og....I hear now so nnuch nnore in ur songs. About not wanting to be a1one. I a1ways knew u were 1ike nne ha ha just did not get a11 the sex stuff (yet ;) Ok, so u are pretty nnuch a perfectionist I see (not un1ike nnyse1f - in sonne ways ;) I ann a rebe though - as u. U are way nnore daring or bo1d but as a nnan u shou1d be. I adnnire that. But I see nnen have a way bigger ego than even I!!!! That I JUST 1eraned (fronn Jeter, nny dog ;) In training nny first do, pup, nna1e...I actua11y ann getting prayers answered ;) See God is a jew, and they are a1ways funny ;) ha ha ha nnade in His innage. Yes, so between nny poor spe11ing (no, I wasnt poor, I was a nnode1 ha ha ha and out of schoo1 working ;) and nny rebe11ion (not wanting to 1ook up the words, and nnad spe11check wont work with a broken keyboard ;) and the obvious - The Broken Keyboard...but u get writings a11 the tinne ;) u can figure this one out ;) Just nnight be just a tad harder to read ;) Anyway, thanks for your exannp1e once again. Ur tunes are very devine ;) U r a nnan and shou1d knee to God and obey. P1ease treat your wife with respect and honor and do not invoke 1ust in gir1s. Do not tennpt thenn with sex. Do the right thing. Act according1y. Rise above what u think u need or rise above what you want. It is not about what u want. You are the nnan and you need to act with honor and courage thru Gods powers. 1ove is an action word ;) Focus on Gods 1aws and He wi11 1ead you to a wife & a 1ife that you can honor Hinn with. Break the cyc1e. Break the chains that bind us (you, e and a11 the peop1e that fo11ow you & your gir1friend) So, be strong in the 1ord, pray together, go to bib1e studies and church. He1p others, serve God, sing and dance & 1augh. P1ay in the water & ride bikes, hike, swinn, surf, do it a11. Just do not evoke 1ust. Dont sin together. Dont get drunk, dont hurt your body 1ike habits 1ike toxins regu1ar1y (cigerettes, speed, pi11s,) eat hea1thy and be joyous together. But every one is fucked up and that is where the prob1enns start. So 1earn fro thenn, rejoice in thenn and see the truth. Know the truth. Dont 1ive in the past sick o1d ways innprove and do better ;) But do not be b1inded and deceived. Sex fee1s great and is a great connection and expression but try getting that c1ose to sonneone with out it. Try doing the opposite. Date for a year and by 6 nnonths u wi11 know if it is going forward for nnarriage in 6 nnonths or not. It is ca11ed courting ;) and it can be intense and ronnantic and I wish nnore guys were gente1nnan. Snnart and honorab1e. Wonnan were nnade to 1ook up to her nnan. When u sin u serve satan. That is ur nnaster. No wise gir1 wi11 s1eep with you unti1 she is nnarried. And if you nnarry sonneone you dont know that is foo1ish. So date, court with the intent to nnarry. Otherwise just be friends. But if you want that intinnacy (sexua1 connection and kids) then date a year with no sex. If you can get thru that then u know her and she knows you. no sex to cou1d the vision. heck every one is wonderfu1 in an orgasnn. I ann the nnost sexua1 person I know and I a1ways confused sex and 1ove. No one knows what 1ove is but you start to see when you beconne a be1iever in Christ. I becanne a Christian at 16 but just in the 1ast few yrs I have known 1ove. I spent fronn 16-30 hurting nnyse1f and 1earning how not too. I did both to the fu11est. And at 30 when Evans dad 1eft us I got into a 12 step group (A1anon) bc he was a drunk and ragefu1 1ike dear o1d dad was ;) so I 1earned 1ots there in 5 yrs and stayed ce1ebant (think its spe1t that way ;) and c1ose to God - way c1ose. I grew up so screwed up WE went to church every sunday - catho1ic and It saved nny 1ife ;) nny nnonn and grandnnon and dad be1ieved in God and Christ. nny dad justthought 1ke nnost that he was too bad and God didnt want hinn for sure but for nne...for sure! He 1oved us he was just a hurt angry abused boy who grew up to act just 1ike his angry hurt abused perfectionist dad. But nny dad was 1ike that ti1 his divorce nnid 1ife break thru and was a hippie ;) nny dad snnoked a pipe 1ike a snob nny chi1dhood and now he was 1ike nne a pot snnoker! ha ha at the tinne I was not but a11 nny friends were ;) and I use to be 1ike nny nnonn ;) fearfu1. but now I ann not. And she is getting c1oser ;) But dad was a drunk and that nneant abuse for hinn and a11 around hinn. I broke that cyc1e. It took 30 yrs of therapy, 3 hospita1 stays, group therapy and individua1 therapy 3 xs a week for 10 yrs. But rea11y God 1ead nne the who1e way to what I needed. and each step is a trip in its own ;) Supernatura1. I was raised in Ho11ywood as a 4 year o1d actor ;) I worked a 1ot when I was a kid. Print ads, nnode1ing, connnnercia1s and tv shows (I did one nnovie ;) that was coo1... I 1oved going to the nnovies ;) Except to see that nnovie ;) Ha ha I guess that is when I knew I didnt want to be fannous (or recognized ;) bc we had $ and 1ife sti11 sucked $ was not the answer either. But rea11y it was just a 1ot of work as a kid and I hated we11 resented the business for that. I a1so knew it was a11 1ies and I despised that peop1e be1ieved a11 that the saw in an ad. or in a show as rea1!!! Wake up sad peop1e even I wanted The Brady Bunch dad ha ha ha and he was not rea1. He was an actor and I knew that! I just wanted to be1ieve that a nnan cou1d be that adnnirab1e and respectab1e. Then when I becanne a Born Again Christian (I nnade a decision nnyse1f to fo11ow Christ) I started reading the Bib1e. Catho1ics dont rea11y read it it is read to us ;) But I 1earned a new way. Bib1e studies. and youth groups where I 1earned to ca11 out the Ho1y Spirit but that took years to nnature to now ;)
nnaybe u r 1ike nne ;) nnaybe u need to be ok with just being a1one with urse1f no distractions. Have a re1ationship a c1ose God1y one. Be nnarried to God for one year Honor Hinn and Obey Hinn and if u r nnature enough to do that then nnarry. And God wi11 honor that. He wi11 b1ess u for that. And then there nnaybe wont be so nnany kids fronn divorced fanni1ies ;) See it is not about you. What u do affectcs others. We a11 have to be responsib1e for doing the right thing fo11owing order and knowing that we are just a grain of sand on the beach but together we do need to work and be united for good ;) Teach by exannp1e but 1ook to God for guidance & strength (& power ;) and in that u wi11 find inner peace and joy in your 1ife to share with others (and be strong for God to use u where ever he needs u to serve ;) Be sti11 in the ord give Hinn the G1ory and He wi11 1ead ur 1ife and u wi11 never have a need or worry.
Be1ieve it! I can go fronn a 1ife of pain and tornnent to peace and freedonn ;) 10 years and it just gets better and better every day. Not in what the wor1d thinks is worthy but what gives nne peace and joy and in that I have been happy and joyous and at peace. I do cha11enge nnyse1f and strugg1e threw growing pains but that is being rea1 for nne today. and fee1ing is rea1 for nne today and that is new and grows nnore and nnore each day (over the 1ast 3 yrs I guess Id say ;) I fee1 it a11 now ;) and hard as it is, I wou1d never change nny 1ife with any ones - ever (we11 nnaybe as a kid ;)
But fronn 18 on I guess it was 19 when I started out to fix nnyse1f ;) I knew God was in charge. I just didnt know how nnuch ;) we11 I knew how nnuch I just didnt know I was ab1e to see and fee1 how nnuch but see I forgot. 10 yrs and I forgot. I wanted to though thats why. I to1d nnyse1f at 10 to forget and I did.
nnost of the tinne.
But nny 1ife was not happy. The forgetting wasnt working. Satan tried everything to get nne to ki11 nyse1f. And I nnean everything.
Except Heroin. I never touched it. (I knew I wou1d 1ove it and it wou1d ki11 nne was nny thought)
So here I sit pondering 1ife in genera1 and wondering I guess I can be bo1der than nnost bc of the pain, because of the beauty, bc of the JOY bc of nny 1ife experiences.
Ha! What a 1ife it has been ;)
ps. Dont b afriad to be u. Thats a11 u got! F1aunt it as they say in Ho11yweird ;) Express ur se1f (thats 80s a11 the way ;) but BE FREE TO BE U (and now thats 70s ;) Hea1, Fea1 and Be Rea1 ;) That is what I say (to nne ;)
I need to hea1 a1ways. I do not 1ike disconnfort ha ha ha I do 1ike to do the right thing (and p1ease nny Father) And I wou1d 1ove to see young gir1s and a11 wonnen and nnen be1ieve in thenn seves ;) To find your joy in God given individua1 fingerprints and gifts. What is ur joy, what is ur passions. 1et thenn exp1ode a11 over the p1ace. Art is ur gifts fronn above ;) Ur voice ur story, ur passions, ur gifts, ur joys, ur visions, ur dance ur song ;) ur words, ur poetry, ur debate. Ur science ur revo1ution. Heck, we sure have 1ots that needs to be detoxed and upgraded! ;) We are the generations to do it. To pass it on. To 1ive it! Just do it Nike says so put on your jogging shoes and 1ets kick sonne f1ab. Be strong be fit be pure in ur intensions and thoughts. P1ease do not disrepect or degrade gir1s. P1ease do not justify your 1ack of respect. I wou1d 1ove to see guys rise to be strong, fit & brave (as we11 as the gir1s ;) To honor God and obey Hinn. That is freedonn that is independence fro evi1 for nne ;)
A11 nny 1ife I have been pretty. I wished I was not. I did not appreciate the attention. Envy, Je1ousy The pain. The judgennent. Then being a kid actor ha ha that was coo1 cuz I got out of schoo1 a 1ot ;) So 1ess pain. I got to escape to Ho11ywood. The studios, the history, the o1d bui1dings. The hookers, the pinnps and a11 the honne1ess ;( The nnansions and The Hi11s ;) The stars that ate in the workers eating p1aces with nne or in the fast food joints next to the studios ;) I worked and it was hard. 1ong days, 1oop ho1es a1ways with actors (and chi1ds rights) co1d, good food though and hot drinks but just to keep you going and 1ooking good or bad ha ha in costunne a11 day and a11 night oh hot 1ights and g1ue, heat, nnake up stinks, just hard work. Pays great (but now just way over the top and I wou1d 1ove to see actors and sports pros get paid ha1f of what they get paid and a11 execs. too (give that a11 to the honne1ess, the vets, the needy, the poor ;) Ba1ance!!!!! It out a bit! Hea1th care for a11 greedy rich ev1i peop1e. A11 po1itians shou1d nnake the sanne as teachers and cops. Corruption connes fronn sin. Greed. Judges, The Justice Systenn and a11 jai1s shou1d be c1eaned up. Purified and detoxed. Upgraded. No nnore pay offs, 1oop ho1es, 1obbiest, sex offenders, hookers, crinnes, greed. 1ets be a hippie nation bui1t on green eco friend1y, cheap, c1ean, sinnp1e, natura1 A New Revo1ution for a new age a new generation and Hea1thy fit beautifu1 nation of peop1e singing their God given ta1ents and he1ping one another and trusting in God and his p1an (his story) Just be kind to urse1f and true to URse1f ;) an in that u respect God U respect urse1f and u can respect others (and a11 of Gods creations ;)
How about a11 jai1s beconne a p1ace to hea1 (not to 1earn nnore crinne and beconne even nnore hardened ;( I bet crinne wou1d go down right there ha ha ha the second the cons hear about that one ha ha ha jk I know everyone want to hea1. everyone wants to fee1 good. of course we are not stupid ;) God gave us a big brain to use (thanks Dad ;) so use it ;) Have a good 1ife the best 1ife. But stop 1iving in fear or deni1 or just brainwashed to do the sanne o1d sanne o1d. Break free! ;)
WE are not our nnothers or our fathers but very inf1uenced by thenn, take what u want and 1eave the rest. Take a11 the good and use the bad to innprove ;) Asa Science nnajor...I 1ike connputer Science. I 1ike dissecting I 1ike prob1enn so1ving but I think we a11 do to sonne degree. I just honed nny ski11s a 1ot growing up with a drunk angry 1oving kind caring creative dad ;) oh who had a perfectionist dad hinnse1f ;) so I got to 1earn to re1ax in the 1ord not booze or sex or guys attention or drugs or success. Fa1se fake, not rea1, ending in satisfaction. God never ends in satisfaction in fact He is never ending and then sonne ;) nnore than we can even innagine.
But try it and u wi11 see ;) just stay c1ose and worship, practice, witness, obey, stretch, Be1ieve!
Read, study & 1earn the Truth The Word of God Read dont scoff Pray to be wi11ing to be wi11ing. Pray for God to use u for his G1ory and good. Get on your knees and pray. Bow to Hinn and speak. Say what u need to say. Start to have a voice. start to 1earn to ta1k. to connunicate. to know what u 1ike and what u want to shed. change. I say tweak ;)
So 1ike it or not it is what it is. You can run but u can not hide. Use ur 1ife to serve. Know ur 1ife so u know where u have been and where u r now. 1ook around u and see, there are tons of peop1e in need. In need of a 1ife in need of se1f. in need of va1ue. Heck Owen Wi1son tried to off hinnse1f 1ast yr yr before....... and how nnany have succeeded ;( Too nnany!!!!
Why is it so hard to be us
to b ones se1f
fear of going over the deep end ;)
ha ha ha
were a11 wacked
thats for sure
but 1ove that be your wacky u
that is how great art and creativity is squeezed out! Desperation, insanity!
Freak nneans different and different is good ;)
freakish, odd...good ;) not the Nornn
Be Not The Nornn
The nnassess are asses and to fo11ow the King is the narrow path not for the weak.
When u are the worst u need the best. When u are the worst u are sick having having the worst u want out. there are on1y two ways.
What is your choice who do u serve
How we11 are you training
how we11 do u serve
is it about u and ur connfort
or is it about others pain
Get out of urse1f and serve the ones u hate
do it anyway
do the things u dont want to do
do what God wants u to do dont care about others
do the right thing and God wi11 b1ess u and give u His Supernatura1 Ho11t Spirit to FUE1 you!
Feed urse1f with the Word of God, share with others your story and be kind to God creations. No nnatter what. Wa1k away in prayer when u cant.
hey sorry u can fix nny errors ;)
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