Thank you God for all that you show me, all that you teach me. Even though thru my twenties (ok & in my teens) I was very, very angry at you. I know that you know this. But I guess I feel bad, even though I always felt you loved & accepted me no matter what. I guess I feel lame that it took me so long to get it ;) I guess that I have to feel my pain. And you know I suck at that. I need your help to feel human and grieve to be sad when need be and not to be enraged.

I know many ppl that feel (or not feel) like me.

Just watch TV

Just listen to ppl talk

drugs, alcohol, food, work, sex, denial. Wow we know how to turn it off and not feel. Except anger.

rage

I can not and do not want to afford any part of anger in a way that hurts myself, anyone else or any personal property. I do pretty good. Well since I learned that in a psy ward when I was 23 (i've had a lot of practice!)

So now i feel that means sad not mad ;) 3 years and i still cry a lot but I am ok with that ;) makes me happy to feel. And I was so depressed and manic from 20-30 on every med, doctor, shrink, hospital, no kids, just therapy ;)

I was a wreck. I was not happy. I wanted to die. I hated life I hated myself I hated ppl

That sucked

I went thru all the sin all the Hollywood porn, Hollywood Call Girls but I was too busy cutting myself and being with bad ass guys. I was a drunk I only felt numb. I was enraged (14 shrinks said... hmmm ??? That is the one thing I did know ;)

I had to heal. I had to heal myself with God. And I did

God did it for me and I asked my whole life.

I just wanted happiness. I had everything else and I was never happy

13 years plus now I feel happiness. Joy, peace in my heart and I do not fear

stress is anger for me

stress is fear

facing fears is facing the truth

it is always my cross to carry and learn from. My rejoice in my problems for they get me closer to God and being the person He needs/wants me to be. I put God first focus on Him and I am all good ;) It is so hard to go against the norm

but today I feel ready. I have been all year stronger and stronger the last 3 yrs. the last 10 yrs all my life really ;) I have been in therapy w/God ;)

My Mom too hee hee she taught me & my Grandma taught me Faith & History & God used them and my Great grandma too ;)

They tell me ;)

Most ppl rather live a lie

I as a child actor always tried to run from the fake

I am grateful for that ;)

Satan sucks us in by our emotions so I am learning that keep your thoughts captive & talk to God about my problems and He will guide me & He does ;)

He comforts me and answers my prayers

I give Him the Glory & He can work thru me to help my kids thru me learning and calling out the Holy Spirit ;)

Satan tricks

PPl follow fortune tellers and horoscopes but not The Holy Spirit???

Weird but the bible does say most ppl will follow the devil

and they do... like sheep, denial, uneducated, in the dark

I dont want to live in the dark any more.

I lived in the light for 10 yrs and then I got the courage thru prayer and devotion

to leave an abusive marriage. Every guy I have ever been has been my Dad. Angry and against God

My Dad got sober & goes to church every week. He has made years of amends to me and has changed.

I am so grateful for that.

Now I taught my son and daughters the same thing I grew up with (of course duh)

So now that my eyes have been opened (wider again) I see more. I have put in years of study and training and I see the results. It sucks no doubt but some how it's Gods gifts and comforts that make it fun!!!

OK

Alright!

Yes, I rejoice today!!! In my problems so I am happy as a lune ;) And I love life these past oh 13 yrs ;)

No more depression, growing more thru God no meds I got sober and devoted my life to God again. I njoyed helping others (most of the time ;)

Got out of myself

Got into service and being real

I felt like Qui Chang Kane in Kung Fu (on my path with nothing but whats in my bag and on my back) Just my bag is Louis Vuitton ;)

The next decade I spent raising my kids and homeschooling. Going to church and bible studies ;)

But i had to deal with the abuse, the anger, the sickness

I went back to therapy with the kids and God answered prayed for a free Christian therapist. We had been wanting and they were asking to go for yrs. To deal with anger

So being alone 3 yrs not in a marriage leaving a marriage and fighting returning to old ways.

I received the gifts of prayers and I was softer, I was feeling (the healthy way that God intended). Again, it has been very hard but very worth it, I have learned a lot. And I have had fun and joy and ahhhhh... peace. Thru God not a guy ;) A need to find a healthy guy that is better than me ;) stronger with God and his actions. I will wait for that guy. I am happy, honored now to not let guys bully me to compromise my beliefs. I am at peace & joy being alone with God. I have healed this year in that. I did not want to give up my dream of a family in Christ. I dont know ;) And I feel great! I know God is in charge and either way alone with God and my kids or with a partner some day I am ok. I am happy. I am at peace.

Thank you Lord for all you give me.

All the gifts & provisions

I always believed in God.

I always believed in God. The more I know, the better I do ;) I value my life now. When I am sober I can honor God, when I am not...

Well, then lets just say I relate way to well w/ Charlie Sheen (& I chose to do it Gods way now & get Gods results instead of Evil's ;)

Anyone who doesn't believe in God or God doing daily miracles, hasn't gotten sober. No one knows more about miracles than a clean addict ;)

"Judge a man on how he reacts to failure, not success." - MLK

Rebels never want to conform, but they are just conforming to evil (& that's the biggest group of conformist that I know ;)

Rebel against what is good for us is the human way, seek God & not evil. All things good are from God. When we are loving we are serving God

I have had great (& painful) experiences in my life ;) God uses everything for His glory! All bad used 4 great! I love seeing ppl heal ;)

Elizabeth Taylor
Every breath you take today should be with someone else in mind. I love you.

What a Beautiful inspiration ;)

John 16:13 - But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth...

@Bethenny you're right about "God loves everyone" God takes the bad & turns it great! Knowing God is the best tool you can give your child

I pray for all the single ppl in the world to stop having sex before marriage & for all the ppl struggling w/ alcohol & sex addictions,

drug addictions anyone who self abuses. I pray 4 all ppl to stop hurting themselves & others & find better ways 2 live

& joy thru following Christ ;)

rather be alone than w/some1 that doesnt want 2 honor God. Almost 1 yr now ~what Peace

TrixieLouLaBell JenX
That's right!! The Truth The Way & The Light!!! RT @JarridWilson: Whispers of satan, get behind Us. My King is LOUDER!

I just love Twitter ;) I get all my news, fashion, comedy, politics, well I guess that's news ;)

TrixieLouLaBell JenX
Oh yes!!! It does ;) RT @RevRunWisdom: Prayer works

TrixieLouLaBell JenX
@
@Disneyland I use to work on MIssion To Mars. Was a great summer job when I was a kid. Kinda creepy though w/all the robotic cast ;)

I won some free Baskin Robbins one summer on Twitter ;) That was fun!

OscarPRGirl OscarPRGirl
by TrixieLouLaBell
happy birthday twitter, i love you. http://bit.ly/dQNrZe

RickWarren Rick Warren
by TrixieLouLaBell
Jesus didnt die for politics. He died for people...ALL of them.

You can see why it is so fun ;)

Feels good to have all my babies home w/me this weekend ;) Nothing better than spending my days w/them. Just complete joy

Thank You Jesus! Thank you God! Peace & Joy To All Today ;)

You know what's really cool & weird?I have my sound off on my phone & for the first time in texting history do I not care about receiving 1

That's funny~ love the cast RT @rainnwilson: So @NBC just picked up The Office for next year! (Shhh... I don't think they know Steve left!)

JarridWilson Jarrid Wilson
by TrixieLouLaBell
There are certain things God has called us to be. Being silent is NOT one of them. #ShoutTheTruth



How can you not love communication w/ humor, honesty & fact(s)

I just love the WWW

RickWarren Rick Warren
by TrixieLouLaBell
History isnt destiny.Your future is your choice. "According to your faith will it be done to you" Matt.9:29

CSLewisDaily C. S. Lewis
by TrixieLouLaBell
All that is not eternal is eternally out of date-CSLewis

RollingStone Rolling Stone
by TrixieLouLaBell
We have a long history of putting comedians on the cover. Check out our (hilarious) gallery of vintage comedian covers: http://bit.ly/hXnuOs

I always think the best way to know God is to love... ~Vincent Van Gogh


Twitter is a great connection for communication

and information


Like Facebook and Myspace got married and had a little Twitter Baby ;)

Good things come to those who wait on the Lord & Praise God in the Waiting Time ;)

I just want to teach ppl to be good parents to themselves & others Teach love & compassion & encouragement Adults have no idea how to love

Most ppl had many bad examples of how to love in their lives & know no other way ;( That makes me want to pass on

all the hard work & pain that I have endured to know what I have learned. We have a commandment to share, teach, learn, serve & encourage.

It helps you & others. Motivation should be because I feel honored 2 have lived thru all I have & I owe my life many times over 2 The Powers

of God ;) We all know someone like that ;) That makes it real. One day every knee shall bow to The Lord it says in The Bible.

I believe in Miracles & Supernatural ;)

Surfed with the Dolphins all day and slept on the sand in the oh so warm sunshine ;) Mmm.. so stoked! Thanks God for all your yummy gifts!

Laguna today w/ the kids fun times getting golden brown ;) Beach & surf was so pretty lots of surfers & Dolphins 3/10/11

I like 2 work 4 free I don't need 2 be paid 4 working I rather give it away 4 free God gives me all that I need & tons of beautiful gifts

I think we are going to do school on the beach today ;) Thanks God for warm beach days in March ;) baby waves here in Laguna ;)

TrixieLouLaBell The Zen Web Of JenX
Be honest and real and kind and true beauty shines

You know I always thank God when I see a person whom I have been praying for start to want to get God ;) start to seek and get it more and more that personal relationship with God. God always blows me away. Best part of writing about my relationship with God is reading a comment from someone who read something God spoke thru me & I listened and wrote it down (instead of go do what I want or rather ;) God blesses me and others by my willingness & thru my pain ;) That makes it all way worth it. That makes me happy and keep going, just when i feel like it all sucks and life is not worth it and what's it all about (thanks to my international playboys ;)

i love how dumb humans are it use to make me homicidal but now i just am amused mellow with age i gues wisdom too you for sure have way more fun in life with a sense of humor. god wants us to laff to be light and take him serious not ourselves duh we are morons

and i think i am fairly bright, i have had way more advantages than 90 percent of the world. I know there are a lot of way smarter folks out there than me but gosh i had no idea when i was so angry just how dumb ppl really are

i think i rather ignore that fact ;( makes me too sad

but i know that i can educate ppl around me

on truths and realities ;)

I have studied my whole life and i have had great in depth times of darkness & disparage heck along with the worst of them i would say and test to that

but that as i sought out truth and wisdom and compassion thru God he showed me and i learned slow on somethings quick study on most ;) heck i have been working trained to take direction since I was 4

I think that is why actors and celebs why ppl relate to them idk something about being raw and teachable ;)

pained and trained to go on no matter what discount feelings and just shine ;) but then watch out the explosion is always just waiting to happen & it does often in actors/celebs.

That is just too much pressure for me, undue stress and torture but great perks ;)

I just was never a fan of acting. Production I liked ;) but still I rather do truth & reality. So maybe in the future we will learn as humans how to accept and love and care for ourselves & others better ;)

That is my goal. And I like to work for free ;)

God is my supplier of all I need & all my Gifts & Joy ;) I get comfort & peace in that and strength to do the right thing ;) Be loving & kind & serve God not Satan.

God's results are what I want for me & my kids not my dark period ;) I see now I am so glad I have been with the worst in the worst places ;) I like connecting with healing of others in dark places

and I have something to compare it to now 13 years later and each year I am happier & freer than I was the year before. I learn so much and God's supernatural powers and healing and guidance are like nothing else and I have tried it all ;) I am glad I did I regret nothing I am glad I am natural and healthy & free from fear today.

God takes the bad & makes it wonderful ;) Change for the better ;)

I first got up an hour early. which was 5 am I thought it was cool to be up when no one else was ;) it became a pleasure. I never lacked for sleep. Now 5 years later I lost 75 lbs. and it is part of my life. I can not not work out ;) My body just hurts if I miss a day or two. Toxins build up in your body & working out releases them. Stress & pain go away when my muscles are strong and I have always loved clothes & fashion so I like wearing a size 2-4 rather than 16. I am glad that I learned from being underweight to overweight to just right. I just prayed to be healthy and in my correct weight. I just feel better when I eat healthy & take care of myself. I do not want to die bc I was overweight. I want to be strong & fit & healthy now (not skinny ;) Thin just comes when I am in shape ;) When I take that time to work out that tells my brain that nothing is more important than my health, my life and the quality of my future. I want to be here for my kids as long as I can ;) Too many ppl die way too young bc of being overweight ;( I think it is more of a mental problem than physical. We do not value our lives in America. After I started getting physically fit for the right reasons I quit smoking & drinking. I try to pay attention to how I live my life & what I do & dont do to honor my life. 20 yrs of trashing my body ;) Now I am trying to live pure ;) Honor God & the results are what He intended. The world wants us busy and distracted. I pray and meditate (talk and listen to God ;) read my bible, & take care of myself & others. Be kind & loving to yourself & others & the results are pure joy ;) That is just my journey but the more I try to be like Jesus the happier I am (and those around me are too ;) If I can do it any one can!!! I hated ppl, hated life, drank whiskey & smoked non stop while I was awake ;) 20 yrs. that's a long time ;( I was 100 lbs but not happy. It is all about self worth, that is the bottom line for me. Being strong & fit reminds me I am fighting a Spiritual Battle every day & I am in fighting shape now ;) Mentally...when I am weak God is strong for me ~ I pray a lot for what I need God to help me with & He answers my prayers ;)