Happy for those who are fa11ing for Sin..for the growth is huge (the affects r just devastating).
To J1....u know i 1ov ya & urs r in thought & prayer ;)
post-orgasmic...u said it. 1ust is sin. Sin breeds kids into sexua1 dysfunction. Try dating a year with no kissing on the 1ips - not envoking 1ust. Try dea1ing with 1ife day to day with out the sex high...and if ya dont ki11 each other off...we11 then 1ega11y get hitched & start a f1ock. Just dont be trapped by deception via sin. U can get hitched, so b4 u bring another being into this wor1d u shou1d take great care in 1etting God pick ur future. Do it His way and u wi11 get his resu1ts. Good for you & ur b1essings for your future generations. Not having ur parents 1ive together is harsh & scars (as u know) so do the work....it is worth the resu1ts!!!! P1ease for the sake of your unborn kin ;) & the 2 of u
To j2...
Happy to see you are detoxing ;) c1eaning up (ur body ;) Stoked to hear! Praise to God & 1ean on His powers, ask for he1p every step u take.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Sinner trying to Sin less. God IS Awe Inspiring ;)
Sinner trying to sin 1ess
on1y say kind & 1oving, up1ifting things. Think Good positive thoughts, Give The G1orty to God.
Get to know ur creator. tak, 1isten. C1ean up ur 1ife. Detox body & sou1.
Purify ur 1ife on a11 sin & evi1. A|sk God to give u the desire & 1ead ur way. He wi11
on1y say kind & 1oving, up1ifting things. Think Good positive thoughts, Give The G1orty to God.
Get to know ur creator. tak, 1isten. C1ean up ur 1ife. Detox body & sou1.
Purify ur 1ife on a11 sin & evi1. A|sk God to give u the desire & 1ead ur way. He wi11
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
i wa\n\t to b\\\og toda\y b\ut i a\ b\a\ck to cryptic b\\ogin\g an\d even\ worse!\\\
so...this on\e is rea\\\\y essin\g with y pride an\d a\cceptan\ce. so ya \a\y wa\n\t to skip this on\e if u r a \\spein\g na\zi or perfection\ist (|n\ot wiin\g to try an\d dea\\\ that\ is)| so i kin\da \\\\ike it ha \ha \ha \\\\b\ut i a\ rea\\\\\y sick ;)\ b\ut hav\e don\e 30 yrs of work an\d then \soe. a\so i hav\e had\ supern\a\tura\ guida\n\ce :)| an\d X|\\\\\trea\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ circusta\n\ces.
\\so i wan\t to do for others ore than \i do for ysef a\n\d teac\h y 4 kids that\ too....so i do.
\
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\b\ut i see a \ot an\d ear\n \a \ot an\d sha\re a \ot an\d keep study a\n\d ear\n\in\g.
\
\\\\\\i te y kids ur reat\ion\ship with the hoy trin\ity is a\11 that\ a\tters. put god first an\d everythin\g e1se wi11 fa\11 in\to p1a\ce
\\\\
\\on\\\\\\\\y a\\\ recoverin\g ex ha\ter ca\n\ 1ove an\d a\ccept the wa\y i do ;)|\\\\\\\\\\\\
\T|han\kfu1 an\d grat\efu a\way\s for everythin\g in\ y ife that\ G|od ha\s given\ to e ;)| H|on\ored to fight for G|ood &| G|od. 1ove gettin\g c1oser to G|od a\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\1wa\ys ;)\\\\\\\
\\so i wan\t to do for others ore than \i do for ysef a\n\d teac\h y 4 kids that\ too....so i do.
\
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\b\ut i see a \ot an\d ear\n \a \ot an\d sha\re a \ot an\d keep study a\n\d ear\n\in\g.
\
\\\\\\i te y kids ur reat\ion\ship with the hoy trin\ity is a\11 that\ a\tters. put god first an\d everythin\g e1se wi11 fa\11 in\to p1a\ce
\\\\
\\on\\\\\\\\y a\\\ recoverin\g ex ha\ter ca\n\ 1ove an\d a\ccept the wa\y i do ;)|\\\\\\\\\\\\
\T|han\kfu1 an\d grat\efu a\way\s for everythin\g in\ y ife that\ G|od ha\s given\ to e ;)| H|on\ored to fight for G|ood &| G|od. 1ove gettin\g c1oser to G|od a\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\1wa\ys ;)\\\\\\\
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Why Cant The First Female Pres. Be a Stylish Cute Chick? With A Creative, Stylish Cabinet, Senate & Congress
Would you vote for me? I'm a mom...look at my 4 kids, they will tell u and show u that I am crazy like u ;) That i am a good person. Heck ask a kid and they will tell u the truth ;)
Do u want to know the truth?
I think everyone seeks the Truth.
U cant say i am too religious cuz i am just like u
U cant say that i am not religious enough..bc i will challenge u to that debate....and win
U can say i think i am always right (i hear that a lot ;) but only God knows. Only He is the one u should think "is right", not me.
So why do we not care for our poor?
Our sick?
Our needy?
We should help others for sure.
We need to rehabilitate our Country. List the problems and have teams and groups of brain storming ideas for solutions. Like at Google ;)
Ideas for the people.
I would go as Peace & Freedom with Green, Independent & who ever else wanted to UNITE to revolt for a new way.
So on Twit UN page I see their post on the very large amount of ppeps /children abused by witnessing major violence. So they grow up to keep that cycle going. killing, raping, abusing, hurting.
and then we send them to jail...
to get worse.
So we let them out cuz we spend too much on war and not enough on peace.
and we cant keep them staffed, no room...we are wacked. a kid goes for life bc he stole a candy bar in a country store that sold stamps so makes it a federal felony. and life for a joint. a weed mind u. or u torture a child and rape them and leave them dead on the side of the road...and u get 3 yrs instead of 7. Or 3 yrs for killing ur wife. look um up...they are all real facts. We have more suicides, drug over dozes, deaths from food addictions over or under eating.... rape, beatings,
3000 KIDS A DAY are kidnapped in the US
look up that stat. Taken for sex crimes, sex abuse, sex traffic, pornography, incest.
CHILDREN. 3000 taken a DAY... for RAPED in the US, TORTURED. BEATEN. THREATENED. (that doesnt count the 10/10 I think that are at home being abused some way (by a neighbor, janitor, teacher, priest, coach, uncle, step dad. etc...........)
Do u know someone who killed themselves?
I know many!!!!
Why?? Well not cuz they were happy!!!!
Why did they hate life so much?
Look around folks! and not just at the McDonalds, and the Victoria Secret, and The Malls, and Liquor stores.
No one wants to see.
I would love to challenge the system.
Change it.
1) Make jails rehab. All US Penal Systems will now be loving, uplifting places to HEAL.
2) All Politicians will make Min. wage.
3) No kick backs or bribes
4) The US will now shop Co-op. All we need is here in the US and we have all the ppl to run it ;) Hemp oil, gas, paper, wood, etc. natural resources.
5) America on a Detox. Hollywood can run the Nation...everyone looks up to them so all the creative, opinionated, go getters can do for good. All co op. They each do a bit in the Gov. write, produce, chair, brainstorm, etc.
6) if u were not f' up.. u cant run...u must be rehabilitated and know what it is like to live both sides. and choose Good.
The greater good of all. So TOMS Shoes and other guys like him that have done good for others...then u can participate.
u should give back.
and spread the love.
HEAL America...so we can help other nations by foot and hand not by money unless we are healed and flourishing but give to our nation first so that we can help others. and everyone loves to copy hollywood ;) so we can coop with other nations and all help each other out ;)
and actors and sports figures and coaches and anyone that performs an art gets paid the same as others or madated to cut in half and give back to the poor and needy. the sick. to heal and then ppl can thrive. teach peace. teach green
teach & serve another to prosper, no greed. No more 20 mil a film. What good can come of all that money...oh look at those pro players....just look at them all
half of that is too much but lets just start there. All would benefit.
teach greed is evil and evil is sin. God is good. There is only two ways Good and Evil. The freedom to be mad at God is part of the healing. Express that and educate ppl on the truth. or at least read it to them ;) what can it hurt...u cant make a choice if u only know one way
hurt ppl hurt. hurt comes from bad.
bad comes from evil.
teach, educate, it is a spiritual world...good spirits and bad. God is THE Holy Spirit ;) Angels are out there good and bad.
Which side are u on?
That is the next presidential debate in my eyes.
What do u believe in? What are ur motives. and the scare tactics that we are so use to being bullied by, the confusion... that whole congress and senate and corrupt gov that we have now.. rep and dem's need to be done a way with upgrade time. update. take the good and leave the rest to improve on.
It is clear.... Problems..... Solutions....
Health Care, Veterans Care, Poverty, Gun Violence, Drive By's, Suicides, Jail Over Population, Mass Homicides!!!!!!!! With KIDS AS THE SHOOTERS ;( ;( ;(
Is the country happy? Are people lifted up, feeling good about themselves? Self expressive, creative? Not on booze and pills? Not thinking looking like or being a star is the answer. Being rich and famous will make me happy, at peace and joyous?????????
Healthy weight and a smile on their face and in their heart?
Enjoying blessings and thriving ;) then come help others who do not feel that way
I'd start there ;)
Be Real, Feal and Heal would be my Slogan. Everyone has a right to not feel like they are less than anyone else. Everyone should feel free from worry & filled with joy ;) We just need to UNITE AS ONE Nation Under God FOR THE GREATER GOOD OF ALL> There is a job for everyone ;) and together we could make a happy land for the free (of hate ;)
All natural as possible, limited chemicals as possible change out with natural upgrades ;)
ok, no time to proof - later ;) use it as a way to learn to let go ;) see problems as non problems (and the denial as the things to deal with ;) group therapy is fun! And it works!
Do u want to know the truth?
I think everyone seeks the Truth.
U cant say i am too religious cuz i am just like u
U cant say that i am not religious enough..bc i will challenge u to that debate....and win
U can say i think i am always right (i hear that a lot ;) but only God knows. Only He is the one u should think "is right", not me.
So why do we not care for our poor?
Our sick?
Our needy?
We should help others for sure.
We need to rehabilitate our Country. List the problems and have teams and groups of brain storming ideas for solutions. Like at Google ;)
Ideas for the people.
I would go as Peace & Freedom with Green, Independent & who ever else wanted to UNITE to revolt for a new way.
So on Twit UN page I see their post on the very large amount of ppeps /children abused by witnessing major violence. So they grow up to keep that cycle going. killing, raping, abusing, hurting.
and then we send them to jail...
to get worse.
So we let them out cuz we spend too much on war and not enough on peace.
and we cant keep them staffed, no room...we are wacked. a kid goes for life bc he stole a candy bar in a country store that sold stamps so makes it a federal felony. and life for a joint. a weed mind u. or u torture a child and rape them and leave them dead on the side of the road...and u get 3 yrs instead of 7. Or 3 yrs for killing ur wife. look um up...they are all real facts. We have more suicides, drug over dozes, deaths from food addictions over or under eating.... rape, beatings,
3000 KIDS A DAY are kidnapped in the US
look up that stat. Taken for sex crimes, sex abuse, sex traffic, pornography, incest.
CHILDREN. 3000 taken a DAY... for RAPED in the US, TORTURED. BEATEN. THREATENED. (that doesnt count the 10/10 I think that are at home being abused some way (by a neighbor, janitor, teacher, priest, coach, uncle, step dad. etc...........)
Do u know someone who killed themselves?
I know many!!!!
Why?? Well not cuz they were happy!!!!
Why did they hate life so much?
Look around folks! and not just at the McDonalds, and the Victoria Secret, and The Malls, and Liquor stores.
No one wants to see.
I would love to challenge the system.
Change it.
1) Make jails rehab. All US Penal Systems will now be loving, uplifting places to HEAL.
2) All Politicians will make Min. wage.
3) No kick backs or bribes
4) The US will now shop Co-op. All we need is here in the US and we have all the ppl to run it ;) Hemp oil, gas, paper, wood, etc. natural resources.
5) America on a Detox. Hollywood can run the Nation...everyone looks up to them so all the creative, opinionated, go getters can do for good. All co op. They each do a bit in the Gov. write, produce, chair, brainstorm, etc.
6) if u were not f' up.. u cant run...u must be rehabilitated and know what it is like to live both sides. and choose Good.
The greater good of all. So TOMS Shoes and other guys like him that have done good for others...then u can participate.
u should give back.
and spread the love.
HEAL America...so we can help other nations by foot and hand not by money unless we are healed and flourishing but give to our nation first so that we can help others. and everyone loves to copy hollywood ;) so we can coop with other nations and all help each other out ;)
and actors and sports figures and coaches and anyone that performs an art gets paid the same as others or madated to cut in half and give back to the poor and needy. the sick. to heal and then ppl can thrive. teach peace. teach green
teach & serve another to prosper, no greed. No more 20 mil a film. What good can come of all that money...oh look at those pro players....just look at them all
half of that is too much but lets just start there. All would benefit.
teach greed is evil and evil is sin. God is good. There is only two ways Good and Evil. The freedom to be mad at God is part of the healing. Express that and educate ppl on the truth. or at least read it to them ;) what can it hurt...u cant make a choice if u only know one way
hurt ppl hurt. hurt comes from bad.
bad comes from evil.
teach, educate, it is a spiritual world...good spirits and bad. God is THE Holy Spirit ;) Angels are out there good and bad.
Which side are u on?
That is the next presidential debate in my eyes.
What do u believe in? What are ur motives. and the scare tactics that we are so use to being bullied by, the confusion... that whole congress and senate and corrupt gov that we have now.. rep and dem's need to be done a way with upgrade time. update. take the good and leave the rest to improve on.
It is clear.... Problems..... Solutions....
Health Care, Veterans Care, Poverty, Gun Violence, Drive By's, Suicides, Jail Over Population, Mass Homicides!!!!!!!! With KIDS AS THE SHOOTERS ;( ;( ;(
Is the country happy? Are people lifted up, feeling good about themselves? Self expressive, creative? Not on booze and pills? Not thinking looking like or being a star is the answer. Being rich and famous will make me happy, at peace and joyous?????????
Healthy weight and a smile on their face and in their heart?
Enjoying blessings and thriving ;) then come help others who do not feel that way
I'd start there ;)
Be Real, Feal and Heal would be my Slogan. Everyone has a right to not feel like they are less than anyone else. Everyone should feel free from worry & filled with joy ;) We just need to UNITE AS ONE Nation Under God FOR THE GREATER GOOD OF ALL> There is a job for everyone ;) and together we could make a happy land for the free (of hate ;)
All natural as possible, limited chemicals as possible change out with natural upgrades ;)
ok, no time to proof - later ;) use it as a way to learn to let go ;) see problems as non problems (and the denial as the things to deal with ;) group therapy is fun! And it works!
Thursday, July 22, 2010
I thought I deserved Satan
I finally have enough self worth to do it ur way God ;) I NOW want ur blessings for me. I want to do it ur way and get YOUR results for me!!! Not mine (or Satan's) Yah!!!! All girls want that Mr Right and that is the person u intend for me/us. But lust gets in the way, fear, & believing the LIES that I have been brainwashed to believe my whole life. I am a bad person, I have done bad things and I deserve bad things. I always went for the sickest guys, hurt, angry & sexually abused - like me. Generational sin and sickness that needs a cure. God heals. God is the Mighty Counselor, but u must seek Him. After 25 yrs. I know it now!!! God lead me the whole way, I just was really untrusting & wounded/in raged. I know now, I will not allow satan to rob me of my joy now. I will not allow anyone to hurt me or abuse me. I have a choice today & pray daily for God to protect me & give me his Supernatural strength to do the right thing. I always wanted to be pure. He knew that. I just did not have the tools or training. I fully intend to teach my kids now why lust kills. I have had a very hard life bc of it (as well as my 4 kids). But TODAY I can make a change for them , myself & the future generation of girls & guys that are tricked in thinking that aids/herpes/abortion are not just the only bad results from sin but divorce, cancer, physical abuse, sexual abuse, alcoholism, drug addiction, just keeps getting passed down and growing stronger causing more pain and damages......UNLESS YOU do something different. You do have a choice to live pure & God has the powers to help u....just got to pray to have the desire to serve the right master now.
God would never bless sin. I always had sex before marriage. it was the way i grew up. Sex was every where. Hollywood. Sex symbols. I just remember being so discussed when Brooke Sheilds Mom let her do that movie Pretty baby. I was young and a preteen, she was a yr or 2 older... it made me cry. It made me sick. It made me mad. Mad that Hollywood just uses women as sex symbols and then i just watched the next 20 yrs turn into plastic surgery. Girls actually cutting into their bodies...to look like Hollywood. Well Norma Jean did it way back in the 50's (was it ;) anyway... slice & dice I call it. My 2 sisters did it. I understood. Heck i was there with Cathy. She was young. I cried and prayed out to God why??????????? Why must there be so much sexual dysfunction!!!!1 So much rape, so much disregard for life.
Everyone hates themself. All I saw as a kid was smoking, drinking, lust (heck they cleaned up - or hide more (the cig. ads) but the glamorize booze. Coke was king (and I'm not talking about the soda mom) The men were breaking free of the 50's conservative and hippies from the 60's and 70's made woman's lib. and burn the bras, free love and Gay Pride. God was made fun of and "old fashion" Studio 55 was rage and self expression was exploding. I came of age in the Disco era. In LA. I was a working model/actress in Hollywood in the 70's...I was a kid & observed it all.
I loved it. I couldnt wait to grow up and been a teen so i could be glamorous and smoke Virgina Slims & drink Cocktails. I went to a lot. Saw a lot in movies. Movies were BIG back then. Starwars...DOLBY Sound came out and the surround sound theaters. The dome in LA & OC I loved but was a bit fearful of the magnitude that Hollywood was having/had.
Porn was everywhere & that was gross. Sex was free love...and then there was aids. I think Gen X just thought...kool, it will end my misery faster tan i thought...and what a way to go ;) Death from too much sex (u shouldnt be hav'n ;) hmmm... can y asee the rebel mass destruction that is gen x ?? ;)
YOU CAN TELL IF U R GEN X IF U WERE BROUGHT UP ON A Clock Work Orange. And ur Mom smashed the VHS Tape that u lent ur lil' sister to watch....dang Mom, that was a borrowed copy ;) Of course from some angry dude that I was a kin to ;) I always dated guys in my youth that were my best buddies. partners in crime. if u were a gay guy or a nice guy then iu were my bff ;) i never had too many girl friends ...til about age 26 or so
when i was younger than that....girls just pissed me off to much.
My bff from age 25 to now...she says i am like a dude. I think i have a real dude side for sure. Very hard core. And i challenge that to the sickest guys. But in the last 3 yrs... prayer answered. I became a mom and the last 13 yrs I have been praying and learning and wanting it more (ready i guess...slow learner - just really messed up as a kid so no trust at all ;) so i wanted to feel. to be softer. not to be so numb. so angry. so dark.
Now, I am more like my true self ;) like i was at oh say 8 ;) free to be u and me
God would never bless sin. I always had sex before marriage. it was the way i grew up. Sex was every where. Hollywood. Sex symbols. I just remember being so discussed when Brooke Sheilds Mom let her do that movie Pretty baby. I was young and a preteen, she was a yr or 2 older... it made me cry. It made me sick. It made me mad. Mad that Hollywood just uses women as sex symbols and then i just watched the next 20 yrs turn into plastic surgery. Girls actually cutting into their bodies...to look like Hollywood. Well Norma Jean did it way back in the 50's (was it ;) anyway... slice & dice I call it. My 2 sisters did it. I understood. Heck i was there with Cathy. She was young. I cried and prayed out to God why??????????? Why must there be so much sexual dysfunction!!!!1 So much rape, so much disregard for life.
Everyone hates themself. All I saw as a kid was smoking, drinking, lust (heck they cleaned up - or hide more (the cig. ads) but the glamorize booze. Coke was king (and I'm not talking about the soda mom) The men were breaking free of the 50's conservative and hippies from the 60's and 70's made woman's lib. and burn the bras, free love and Gay Pride. God was made fun of and "old fashion" Studio 55 was rage and self expression was exploding. I came of age in the Disco era. In LA. I was a working model/actress in Hollywood in the 70's...I was a kid & observed it all.
I loved it. I couldnt wait to grow up and been a teen so i could be glamorous and smoke Virgina Slims & drink Cocktails. I went to a lot. Saw a lot in movies. Movies were BIG back then. Starwars...DOLBY Sound came out and the surround sound theaters. The dome in LA & OC I loved but was a bit fearful of the magnitude that Hollywood was having/had.
Porn was everywhere & that was gross. Sex was free love...and then there was aids. I think Gen X just thought...kool, it will end my misery faster tan i thought...and what a way to go ;) Death from too much sex (u shouldnt be hav'n ;) hmmm... can y asee the rebel mass destruction that is gen x ?? ;)
YOU CAN TELL IF U R GEN X IF U WERE BROUGHT UP ON A Clock Work Orange. And ur Mom smashed the VHS Tape that u lent ur lil' sister to watch....dang Mom, that was a borrowed copy ;) Of course from some angry dude that I was a kin to ;) I always dated guys in my youth that were my best buddies. partners in crime. if u were a gay guy or a nice guy then iu were my bff ;) i never had too many girl friends ...til about age 26 or so
when i was younger than that....girls just pissed me off to much.
My bff from age 25 to now...she says i am like a dude. I think i have a real dude side for sure. Very hard core. And i challenge that to the sickest guys. But in the last 3 yrs... prayer answered. I became a mom and the last 13 yrs I have been praying and learning and wanting it more (ready i guess...slow learner - just really messed up as a kid so no trust at all ;) so i wanted to feel. to be softer. not to be so numb. so angry. so dark.
Now, I am more like my true self ;) like i was at oh say 8 ;) free to be u and me
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
so ya might think i'm wacked
but i love my life ;) i live an exciting existence (always have). hard caore to the extreme but u would not know it. so i am different. i feel different. though i pray to be the same? To feel. to understand pain. my life. yours. it helps me. excites me. entertains me. i get bored. i love the lord i love the spiritual battle i love the fight. i get to use my anger for good. rise above fight evil with love. rise above not fight evil with hate or evil.
i am really aware of my surroundings and can survive in the most wretched circumstances. i am ultra sensitive to smells and toxins. i can taste paint on my tongue and i love science. problem solving. my dad comes from a long line of master minds. my mom, creative. both godly. but both very wounded and hurt. so passed on and increased in size and strength like a natural disaster so has my will to live. My aim to b happy. my fight for my life and my would b future children, now grand children. so to change. to fight for good. for god. my maturity in my walk with my lord. my understanding of evil and bad. of how to deal and live with that. how to use that for good and know gods plan. how to stay close to what is not popular and do my own thing - with god. how to better myself and seek inner peace how to help others to do gods will and to feel and want more joy
i am really aware of my surroundings and can survive in the most wretched circumstances. i am ultra sensitive to smells and toxins. i can taste paint on my tongue and i love science. problem solving. my dad comes from a long line of master minds. my mom, creative. both godly. but both very wounded and hurt. so passed on and increased in size and strength like a natural disaster so has my will to live. My aim to b happy. my fight for my life and my would b future children, now grand children. so to change. to fight for good. for god. my maturity in my walk with my lord. my understanding of evil and bad. of how to deal and live with that. how to use that for good and know gods plan. how to stay close to what is not popular and do my own thing - with god. how to better myself and seek inner peace how to help others to do gods will and to feel and want more joy
I Have, I Can, I Dont Today ;)
so i am feeling a bit sad today , however i know god has a plan. a big plan. with great and wonderful things to occur ~ things my small mind can not comprehend. even the smallest detail. i am not so bummed at my life but saddened by others. that ripple affect. effect but affect really. so i am anti conformist today, anti society. i am sad that girls feel the need to cut open their bodies so often just to look the way the feel is most attractive to get a guys attention. approval. laid. ? but i know it is true. i lived it. seeking a males approval. not gods. i saw poor little LL last nite on tv as a walked by ;( she reminded me of that same look on Dana Plato's face in court not too long b4 she died. Hopeless. Confused. Upset but in despair. that made me sad to see her beautiful red hair colored and fake looking, her skin orange from tanning sprays to not be white (like my daughter's beautiful skin ;) The swollen lips from trying to inject god knows what in her lips to look ...sexier ? sick. we r ;( as a nation. as a whole ;( i just see her eyes tight and think too tight plastic looking - cut open to have no bags or wrinkles. bags from tired parting chasin drinkin working. working since she was a small girl. a baby. child slave labor...for our entertainment value ;( for greed and approval and fame , fortune..success????
so owen wilson, dj am (no he succeeded ;( brit murphy, heath, kurt cobain? dana plato was my friend, we grew up working together, well i went on job interviews and was pals with lots of kids in the biz working (my whole life). i saw a lot of pain. a lot of lives ...sad.
So just bc someone is rich and famous and a celeb to look up to their image only means u 4 got they are a real human. most actors and artist and sports fig's are the most hurt of souls...seeking that approval. acceptance - a way out.
so i pray for mel gibson who made my fav movie and then lost his mind ;) poor mel ;( i feel for these stars bc i was a working kid in Hollywood. To be a working kid is hard enough, to be in hw well that's a whole nother story. it is such a sick place filled with drugs, booze, sex, not enough rest and constant judgement to be perfect. pressure too much for a young child that just really wants to be a normal kid or now a normal person.
but add in the sick family behind all that too. all actors have sick families they are running from, that they resent and want to prove u wrong. be something..that is why they are famous. u have to want it more than anything. and it consumes u and when u get it....it is just bull.
smoke and mirrors and pressure and lies, greed, speed to keep up and keep thin, botox and nose jobs, boob jobs, fake to cover the pain.
so owen wilson, dj am (no he succeeded ;( brit murphy, heath, kurt cobain? dana plato was my friend, we grew up working together, well i went on job interviews and was pals with lots of kids in the biz working (my whole life). i saw a lot of pain. a lot of lives ...sad.
So just bc someone is rich and famous and a celeb to look up to their image only means u 4 got they are a real human. most actors and artist and sports fig's are the most hurt of souls...seeking that approval. acceptance - a way out.
so i pray for mel gibson who made my fav movie and then lost his mind ;) poor mel ;( i feel for these stars bc i was a working kid in Hollywood. To be a working kid is hard enough, to be in hw well that's a whole nother story. it is such a sick place filled with drugs, booze, sex, not enough rest and constant judgement to be perfect. pressure too much for a young child that just really wants to be a normal kid or now a normal person.
but add in the sick family behind all that too. all actors have sick families they are running from, that they resent and want to prove u wrong. be something..that is why they are famous. u have to want it more than anything. and it consumes u and when u get it....it is just bull.
smoke and mirrors and pressure and lies, greed, speed to keep up and keep thin, botox and nose jobs, boob jobs, fake to cover the pain.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Why Do People Judge? Fear? People Mock What They Do Not Understand
oh just go ahead and try ;)
I dare ya! I think God gave me the life that I have had just to mess with people ;)
Really.
I dare ya! I think God gave me the life that I have had just to mess with people ;)
Really.
things I like (or I Have A Laptop That Works & I Am Just Thrilled To use it ;)
and the food issue we were just speaking off.... Our Gov. Is One Big Mafioso!!!! Organized Crime Bosses. Revolt has to be near!! Greedy is a sin & evil & fear is our dictatorship. Boooo down with lame Rep's. & Dem's. they killed my fav. up in coming Political Hopeful (JFK, Jr.) right when he was ready to run for office. Hmmmm???? I wish these old F's would all just die off. So corrupt! Let's just go all hippie nation ;) Green & focus on healing our nation. Crime, health care, mental health, DETOX AMERICA. Clean up our system & get our Nation FIT!!! Healthy, happy so we can help others. Who cares about war, abortion, drugs, focus on what is important. Use hemp for oil, paper, wood, medicine. Educate our nation (in jail) Make our Nation a Therapy Nation & God as our Leader ;) We can Heal!!!!!! Just need to focus on our Spiritual Fingerprints ;)
I am a Rebel.
With a cause ;)
~~~~~~~~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
ooo have fun!! In my prayers for many touched souls/hearts ;) I miss working at VBS!!!!! Did it for so many years had so much fun! I just found some great pics I took from our first SVBS at CHHH soooo cool!!! What a blast, great memories each and every time! Loved Deno's TVBS' and Mariners too ;) Several times each & what an impact you can have on a young child. So many do not know Christ. Plus so fun to serve with all my kids! I just really love dancing and singing and teaching young kids about God ;) Super Rad! I cant wait to post the pics here soon one day ;) ps. looks like we are moving soon so I am cleaning up stuff and finding stuff in the garage so by Fall when the Shelter re opens I will have tons of stuff to give to the Vets & Shelter ;) and finding all the great pics i forgot about ;) Take lot's of picture!!!!!!
VBS & Serving The Lord. My kids. Kids in General. And Pictures. I Love Film (& Memories ;)
Things I like & things in my day...
DDS today. Errands. Taking care of my babes. Watching my cat (Kit~Tin) as Mia says. She plays in the mirror by my typewriter (son's laptop ;)
Thinks she is playing with another kit~tee ;) or acts like she is ;)
ok time to b responsible (big tired sigh ;) dang, i love being a mom just sometimes wish i had more time to relax (vacation. I am in need of a vacation ;) It has been 3 yrs too long.
I think soon. I will have time. That makes me happy thinking of that ;) I get vacation days here and there ;) i need one now. God hooks me up ;) with all that i need. and all that my kids need.
GOD
God is one of my fav things - ~ - ~ - My Fav. thing really ;)
Dont try to figure me out. I feel funny when people judge me. most have no idea. i do confuse a lot of peeps
F'ing with humans....something i am trying to turn into compassion for all he sick humans and grow spiritually
~~~~~~~~ so that use to b my fav. after God that is. Now it is, just as compassion. Turn my hate into love ;) my frustration into prayer. My anger into joy ;) I do not LET satan rob me of my joy anymore
That is my second fav. thing now (after God ;)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~eat & shower time (maybe ;)
I am a Rebel.
With a cause ;)
~~~~~~~~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
ooo have fun!! In my prayers for many touched souls/hearts ;) I miss working at VBS!!!!! Did it for so many years had so much fun! I just found some great pics I took from our first SVBS at CHHH soooo cool!!! What a blast, great memories each and every time! Loved Deno's TVBS' and Mariners too ;) Several times each & what an impact you can have on a young child. So many do not know Christ. Plus so fun to serve with all my kids! I just really love dancing and singing and teaching young kids about God ;) Super Rad! I cant wait to post the pics here soon one day ;) ps. looks like we are moving soon so I am cleaning up stuff and finding stuff in the garage so by Fall when the Shelter re opens I will have tons of stuff to give to the Vets & Shelter ;) and finding all the great pics i forgot about ;) Take lot's of picture!!!!!!
VBS & Serving The Lord. My kids. Kids in General. And Pictures. I Love Film (& Memories ;)
Things I like & things in my day...
DDS today. Errands. Taking care of my babes. Watching my cat (Kit~Tin) as Mia says. She plays in the mirror by my typewriter (son's laptop ;)
Thinks she is playing with another kit~tee ;) or acts like she is ;)
ok time to b responsible (big tired sigh ;) dang, i love being a mom just sometimes wish i had more time to relax (vacation. I am in need of a vacation ;) It has been 3 yrs too long.
I think soon. I will have time. That makes me happy thinking of that ;) I get vacation days here and there ;) i need one now. God hooks me up ;) with all that i need. and all that my kids need.
GOD
God is one of my fav things - ~ - ~ - My Fav. thing really ;)
Dont try to figure me out. I feel funny when people judge me. most have no idea. i do confuse a lot of peeps
F'ing with humans....something i am trying to turn into compassion for all he sick humans and grow spiritually
~~~~~~~~ so that use to b my fav. after God that is. Now it is, just as compassion. Turn my hate into love ;) my frustration into prayer. My anger into joy ;) I do not LET satan rob me of my joy anymore
That is my second fav. thing now (after God ;)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~eat & shower time (maybe ;)
Monday, July 19, 2010
Thanks For Being My Friend God ;)
just got a job today working from home contract processing 995 a file ;) yeah and they are swamped so i can work as much or as little as i want ;) nice. I so prayed for this. To stay home with the kids and work from home and be able to support us with out their dad. I am sooooo stoked! Really ;) But i have done nothing but work so hard this past 18 months. Doing sooo many things i so didnt want to do. So facing all my fears. Amazes me. I knew the payoff was going to be so big and unreal. I still think it will get better ;) I want a big house tha can fit all my kids ;) I want a farm and grow all my own food ;) I want to live in a sunny happy peaceful place with my kids and homeschool and I will work wherever and whatever God wants me to do. ;) Will see what He has planned and in store ;) I know God doesnt want me alone but i know he doesnt want me with a jerk (or a sick person that is abusive to me and my kids) rather ;) His kids God's kids (throw a comma back there ;) so happy to learn to balance and slow and no fear and major trust and lot's of miracles (and thrills ;) happiness, peace & joy! Rad stuff really major supernatural. I so love growing in God. So love calling out the Holy Spirit! So love being in joy! So love knowing The Truth ;) Hard to stay strong and fight off the evil but God does my battles now ;) I let him. But learning to be worthy to take such good care of myself (for My God ;) Mind, body & spirit/soul ;) so... slowing down with God is has been so great all year alone with really no distractions (cept me ;) of course ;) so rad growth! Steve helps me a lot. You too ;) All my friends do!
Sunday, July 18, 2010
"A Real Woman Brings Out The Best In A Man" Gidgets Grandma
no prob, I like communicating with others ;) Thanks for the kind words. I am stoked to hear that u are seeking The Lord. You should check out my blog ;) you would prob enjoy that. All healing comes from our relationship with the truth. The truth is in the Word Of God. The Holy Bible. But Fellowship with like minded Christians. Praise and worship thru song and dance and calling out The Holy Spirit. Prayer and Meditation to be still and hear God and Talk to Him. Yelling and crying and bringing your complaints to him first (so he can guide us), serving and helping others always (especially when ya dont want to )being humble (teachable), asking for help for everything from your Father, Taking care of the sick, poor, needy, the children, the elderly, the planet, yourself. Cant do alone. need supernatural powers from God. Need to be real. No fear. Thru God.
Being a great warrior for God is not ez in this world but u dont want what this world has to offer no one does. Society is wacked. Satan rules this world (read all about it in the bible but study it is the real trip). I get to talk to tons of believers and most are really hurt and confused (just how satan want us) so u have to take ur life seriously. Most r distracted. Ez to do here in this world!!! So focus on u and what u r doing. i did 20 yrs of therapy and 10 yrs of AA/Alanon but 44 yrs as a child of god (living in the most evil of situations) So... I have strong skills. Mad skills as they say (I say cuz Mad for sure ;) On both meanings ;) All 3 really ;) 3 is the magic number ;) Balance. Triangle. Rest/work/play God/Jesus/Holy Spirit
Work can be balanced Time alone/Time with friends/Time with Family. Balance is the key but God has to be the ruler (cuz He knows best and better than us - he IS the Creator. Just pain causes distrust, fear and satan is fear. People Mock What They Dont Understand. Rise above.
I get a lot of questions and I like that. I have met a lot of people in my journey. I call out to serve My Lord a lot. I ask to be a willing servant. I ask to serve and do your will God.
and god answers prayers. I get many chances to talk to well what i think of unlikely (To Me ;) random, bizarre really situations and encounters.
A group of guys two really young teen but almost 21 maybe 22? stop me and ask me questions that turn to 2 hour convo on God and life and human nature. They had a seris God question and wrote about it and one was a believer and the other a seeker/doubter/believer/struggler/hurt/Muslim (by birth).
My neighbor just moved in, his sister just died (she was suppose to move in with him last week). I know God brought him here for a reason. It is just amazing when I ask to see what god brings and does in my life
Being a great warrior for God is not ez in this world but u dont want what this world has to offer no one does. Society is wacked. Satan rules this world (read all about it in the bible but study it is the real trip). I get to talk to tons of believers and most are really hurt and confused (just how satan want us) so u have to take ur life seriously. Most r distracted. Ez to do here in this world!!! So focus on u and what u r doing. i did 20 yrs of therapy and 10 yrs of AA/Alanon but 44 yrs as a child of god (living in the most evil of situations) So... I have strong skills. Mad skills as they say (I say cuz Mad for sure ;) On both meanings ;) All 3 really ;) 3 is the magic number ;) Balance. Triangle. Rest/work/play God/Jesus/Holy Spirit
Work can be balanced Time alone/Time with friends/Time with Family. Balance is the key but God has to be the ruler (cuz He knows best and better than us - he IS the Creator. Just pain causes distrust, fear and satan is fear. People Mock What They Dont Understand. Rise above.
I get a lot of questions and I like that. I have met a lot of people in my journey. I call out to serve My Lord a lot. I ask to be a willing servant. I ask to serve and do your will God.
and god answers prayers. I get many chances to talk to well what i think of unlikely (To Me ;) random, bizarre really situations and encounters.
A group of guys two really young teen but almost 21 maybe 22? stop me and ask me questions that turn to 2 hour convo on God and life and human nature. They had a seris God question and wrote about it and one was a believer and the other a seeker/doubter/believer/struggler/hurt/Muslim (by birth).
My neighbor just moved in, his sister just died (she was suppose to move in with him last week). I know God brought him here for a reason. It is just amazing when I ask to see what god brings and does in my life
Thursday, July 15, 2010
u know some times i think it is just so hard being a human, but i do know that mostly i am just with god. i block out most of the world ;) I let in what i want and limit that tightly ;) but i have my weak spots like that ha ha pride and ego like the rest. I struggle not moving out of fear self abuse not knowing my value and worth. i dislike hate. i see so much of it. i get overwelmed but i am a problem solver by dna and i see the answers a lot. thru asking and getting close to god - not by choice but then as gods. i had a hard up bringing so i figured as my ma said i had nothing to lose. so i tried it and it worked. big. big time. now i know every one has been abused on this planet and some more than others ...but that makes an impact. behavioral problems. So we create patterns on what everyone else is doing mass popularity and lose all individuality. we stifle our creativity. Our God given voice and talents so in that... i had to fight. hmmmm huge sigh i get tired. but now i know better , thanks to god he gave me thoughts and prayers and i see now i see things i need to see and i ask and he answers. he asks or angels or different parts of me my god voice my spiritual part in tune to the voice of god always. just sometimes i chose to not listen but enslaved to believing i have no choice beaten down in to believing thru society, the world, satan whatever u can handle ;)
So i never think i am better than or right or any other quoted judgements i hear .. i am the first to admit that i am the most f 'd up of them all... i just stopped myself from evolving into one of them..the evil ones, the ones that keep perpetuating the problem.
now i perpetuated enough on my own even with 30 yrs of shrinkology ;) i picked the wrong guys...i picked angry guys like me, but their physical strength out matched mine and i saw my god again big. i saw i had one they chose to turn their back. I did too many times from 20-30 almost everything i could think of to hurt myself. I was good too but i strive for as close to perfection as i can get knowing if i am doing good and gods will then i am a ok ;)
knowing that ;)
That came from years of abuse. Ok loving the blog ;) option these days ;)
meaning, i am not for everyone...in fact i make most squirm...or uncomfortable ouch that sucks ;( but not being popular and being judged 24/7 heck that is the story of my life ;) doing things different - the opposite ;)
So i never think i am better than or right or any other quoted judgements i hear .. i am the first to admit that i am the most f 'd up of them all... i just stopped myself from evolving into one of them..the evil ones, the ones that keep perpetuating the problem.
now i perpetuated enough on my own even with 30 yrs of shrinkology ;) i picked the wrong guys...i picked angry guys like me, but their physical strength out matched mine and i saw my god again big. i saw i had one they chose to turn their back. I did too many times from 20-30 almost everything i could think of to hurt myself. I was good too but i strive for as close to perfection as i can get knowing if i am doing good and gods will then i am a ok ;)
knowing that ;)
That came from years of abuse. Ok loving the blog ;) option these days ;)
meaning, i am not for everyone...in fact i make most squirm...or uncomfortable ouch that sucks ;( but not being popular and being judged 24/7 heck that is the story of my life ;) doing things different - the opposite ;)
i ann good thanks ;) nny connputer is not though ha ha u can see I have no nn or 1 so I use the nn and 1 ha ha ha. But then I abreviate a1ot too (and I 1ike to do things different ;) so Good 1uck with reading nny cryptic writings ;) I a1so do not spe1 very we11 and with out spe11 check ha ha I ann at the nnercy of nny reader ;)
I hope a11 is we11 with u. That was very kind of u to say that ;) thank u, that nnakes nne fee1 good. I hear 1ots of negative responses a 1ot, a11 the X fronn peop1e ;( it is nice when I hear sonnething coo1 ;) I ta1k to a 1ot of peeps and nnost are in a 1ot of pain, so u know the saying...hurt peop1e hurt. So I have been 1earning (a11 nny 1ife ;) how not to take that persona11y, react, and rise above the evi1 that wants nne down at that 1eve1. So I now can have connpassion for the sick and hurt and pray for thenn and not nnake thenn hurt nnore. It is hunnan response to first hit back ;) BUt being s1ow and not reacting is new in the 1ast 10 years so I have had fun (ha ha so sick ;) training and practicing this with so nnany in nny 1ife. A11 fanniy, a11 friends ;) husbands, dates, and now in the 1ast 10-20 years as a 1iving ;) Teaching others and nnyse1f how to be kind and treat urse1f the way God wants u to treat urse1f ;) I was so nnad at nny parents for a11 their sickness (which I didnt b1anne thenn, I knew it was passed down and they were abused but sti11 nnad that they didnt get he1p) so I went over board on getting he1p (which at the X I cou1dnt get enough! ;) fronn 20-30 I rea11y was on the edge and treated nnyse1f according1y. I aso though was in hard core therapy 3 xs a week for 10 yrs and three visits to rehab to 1earn a better way. I wanted tons of kids but on1y if I cou1d. Not physica11y but in nny head u know ;) I needed to 1earn how to parent a better way but rea11y that was nne. Parent nne a better way. Start over fronn day one and take what I wanted and 1eave we11 change the rest. Iprove, upgrade, update ;) 1eve1 up as nny 15 yr o1d says ;) Ganner boy ;) Xbox junkie (he just 1ikes to ki11 in Ca11 of Duty ha ha his anger re1ease ;) So I hope that nny kids just nnake that even better cuz God knows with guys I have just in the 1ast 3 yrs 1earned, so nny kids have suffered a 1ot fronn the sickness passed down fronn generation to gen. (and shit bui1ds, on top of and 1ayers and hardens eeeeewwwie yuck what a nness!!! ;) yes, so getting to the rea1 person is we11 hard! Tough! Not for the week, but rea11y it is the God1ess kids that do not nnake it. If you cry out to God for he1p, but if u dont know God or better yet God has faied u and u dont want God. You are nnad at God God sucks :( then u are hope1ess. Satan knows how to get us. Our ego, our ennotions, our fee1ings (and 1ack of ~ that is just nunnb, hardened, turned off) we cant and dont trust God. But Satan just tricks us. This is a11 what I 1earned in Catho1ic Church ;) But as I actua11y 1ived fronn a snna11 chi1d to adu1t I saw, it was true. We a11 know it, just pissed off and stubborn and that is the 1ies again. We get confused ez and we are beaten down so we give up (and 1et Satan guide our ways) ;( ;( ;( that nnakes nne want to fight ;) For God and truth. So thank God I ann a fighter (and have been since I was a teen) Adu1ts are a11 so fu11 of shit. They have no idea. They are scared and have to give kids (or teens) a bad rap ;) so I work a 1ot with adu1ts to get thenn to re1earn and grow up a new way but it is a 1ife 1ong journey so dai1y we grow (if tended to ;) and that is the sad part too, if u dont tend to it dies ;( so that nnakes nne want to fight for nny 1ife ;) good thing huh cuz I was so fd up I just wanted to die!!!! Bad! Fronn age o 10-30 I fought it so bad. I was the nnost enraged person I knew (oh, except the guys I dated and nnarried, they a1ways were as sanne as nne but physica11y stronger and bigger so that one upped nne ) So I had to see why I picked these guys and now stop dating nnean guys ha ha but they were a11 addicts and I cant drink or snnoke (bc I ann an addict) and I think one addict in a re1ationship is enough ha ha. But I know that now I ann ready to do it Gods way and He wi11 honor that ;) So No hurting nny body any nnore in any way in excess or abuse (I wish I cou1d grow a11 nny own food ;) And I have to work hard to keep physica11y and nnenta11y fit ;) One 1 or two ha ha too azy to ook it up ;) Fear ho1ds everyone back fronn everything. So no fear and faith instead. Faith in what though u know u got to seek and find. so i hope u like this post ;)
i should proof but im on vacation ;) summer vaca yah!!! I am so happy that my son is home now and i have his laptop but just for a while i am sure til he kicks me off ;) he/they all crack me up ;)
love to write just not sure if i care too much if i proof and that angers readers ha ha too perfectionist ;) i know, i fight that, that is why i rebel :) ha ha ha
true though ;)
so i only know what it is like to feel the way every body else feels (but i guess has a hard time admitting (?) I think so).
cuz i have been there i have seen it i feel/felt it. I make others mad, i know.
The truth hurts sometimes but really the truth will set u free ;) Real freedom ;)
I hope that just one person gets something from anything i pass on ~ then that will be worth it ;) but I KNOW God is in charge and He shows me all the time people tell me things. I have had a privileged life. But not bc of being a model or a working actress ;) or bc we had money and more than some, or that people say u r pretty (which i see everything God made as pretty no matter what humans that is, some animals trip me out ha ha ha ;)
but bc i have gotten to see eyes change. And kids, teens, adults in very low places. Thinking back on that, makes me breathless. Makes me swallow hard. Better than lust. It's joy. Makes you choke up and feel joy.
That is something i didnt feel too much of in my life. I always loved big. Kids, animals, family, friends. But joy..that was scarce. I felt anger. I felt numb. I felt lost. I wanted to go home and just get the fuck out. Sorry i still sin. I just rebel again. Not in anger now in peace. In independence. I can say that word with out anger but as slang. To make my point. U, the reader knows that term, that language ;) It's just slang ;) But anger is another thing. If i cuss in anger, then it is not the cuss word i care about it is the anger. See satan is sneaky
expose
so learning about myself has always been a shared experience. So not caring about my words.. that is trusting in God (but sloth if done too much ;) balance ~~~~~
I think I will change or redcorate my blog again, see i do like change ;) i do get bored ez
i like change, remolding, it's science with a cap. s ;)
so, break it down analyze it and reprogram it, improve it ;) keep fit, the basics too ;) drink water not booze. Get off the cig's and processed foods. work out daily for an hour cadio and have strong muscles. I love yoga and tai chi to relax and meditate (being still listening to God or praying (talking to God ;)
I love to be by myself a lot. I like to listen to my music but uplifting now (I went thru my pain phase to learn to feel ;) I study and read the bible in classes or at home on my own with the Lord ;) I listen to Christian muzac so i can hear. I dont watch the news or read it or listen to it but i do read blogs i like and follow blurbs on Twitter of people i like (their views) i like to brain storm and collaborate and I know that is what God wants us to do (work together ;)
Happy i get to spend days with all 4 of my kids ;) i am happy that the kids get to be with their dad after 12 years but i miss them lots and they miss me and their pain pains me. But i know that god has a plan ;) i know that he is mighty and big and that he always takes the bad and turns it to good. I know that he only wants good for me/us. I know now how to please him and i want to i know now how to serve him really (by not being angry by not hurting myself by not allowing evil around me and my kids. but now they chose the evil they are around but it is a double edge sword as they say. u know they want to but dont. they want him and feel sorry for him and are determined to fix him. they have a hard task they took on but i help and we work together and they/we all learn.
I hope a11 is we11 with u. That was very kind of u to say that ;) thank u, that nnakes nne fee1 good. I hear 1ots of negative responses a 1ot, a11 the X fronn peop1e ;( it is nice when I hear sonnething coo1 ;) I ta1k to a 1ot of peeps and nnost are in a 1ot of pain, so u know the saying...hurt peop1e hurt. So I have been 1earning (a11 nny 1ife ;) how not to take that persona11y, react, and rise above the evi1 that wants nne down at that 1eve1. So I now can have connpassion for the sick and hurt and pray for thenn and not nnake thenn hurt nnore. It is hunnan response to first hit back ;) BUt being s1ow and not reacting is new in the 1ast 10 years so I have had fun (ha ha so sick ;) training and practicing this with so nnany in nny 1ife. A11 fanniy, a11 friends ;) husbands, dates, and now in the 1ast 10-20 years as a 1iving ;) Teaching others and nnyse1f how to be kind and treat urse1f the way God wants u to treat urse1f ;) I was so nnad at nny parents for a11 their sickness (which I didnt b1anne thenn, I knew it was passed down and they were abused but sti11 nnad that they didnt get he1p) so I went over board on getting he1p (which at the X I cou1dnt get enough! ;) fronn 20-30 I rea11y was on the edge and treated nnyse1f according1y. I aso though was in hard core therapy 3 xs a week for 10 yrs and three visits to rehab to 1earn a better way. I wanted tons of kids but on1y if I cou1d. Not physica11y but in nny head u know ;) I needed to 1earn how to parent a better way but rea11y that was nne. Parent nne a better way. Start over fronn day one and take what I wanted and 1eave we11 change the rest. Iprove, upgrade, update ;) 1eve1 up as nny 15 yr o1d says ;) Ganner boy ;) Xbox junkie (he just 1ikes to ki11 in Ca11 of Duty ha ha his anger re1ease ;) So I hope that nny kids just nnake that even better cuz God knows with guys I have just in the 1ast 3 yrs 1earned, so nny kids have suffered a 1ot fronn the sickness passed down fronn generation to gen. (and shit bui1ds, on top of and 1ayers and hardens eeeeewwwie yuck what a nness!!! ;) yes, so getting to the rea1 person is we11 hard! Tough! Not for the week, but rea11y it is the God1ess kids that do not nnake it. If you cry out to God for he1p, but if u dont know God or better yet God has faied u and u dont want God. You are nnad at God God sucks :( then u are hope1ess. Satan knows how to get us. Our ego, our ennotions, our fee1ings (and 1ack of ~ that is just nunnb, hardened, turned off) we cant and dont trust God. But Satan just tricks us. This is a11 what I 1earned in Catho1ic Church ;) But as I actua11y 1ived fronn a snna11 chi1d to adu1t I saw, it was true. We a11 know it, just pissed off and stubborn and that is the 1ies again. We get confused ez and we are beaten down so we give up (and 1et Satan guide our ways) ;( ;( ;( that nnakes nne want to fight ;) For God and truth. So thank God I ann a fighter (and have been since I was a teen) Adu1ts are a11 so fu11 of shit. They have no idea. They are scared and have to give kids (or teens) a bad rap ;) so I work a 1ot with adu1ts to get thenn to re1earn and grow up a new way but it is a 1ife 1ong journey so dai1y we grow (if tended to ;) and that is the sad part too, if u dont tend to it dies ;( so that nnakes nne want to fight for nny 1ife ;) good thing huh cuz I was so fd up I just wanted to die!!!! Bad! Fronn age o 10-30 I fought it so bad. I was the nnost enraged person I knew (oh, except the guys I dated and nnarried, they a1ways were as sanne as nne but physica11y stronger and bigger so that one upped nne ) So I had to see why I picked these guys and now stop dating nnean guys ha ha but they were a11 addicts and I cant drink or snnoke (bc I ann an addict) and I think one addict in a re1ationship is enough ha ha. But I know that now I ann ready to do it Gods way and He wi11 honor that ;) So No hurting nny body any nnore in any way in excess or abuse (I wish I cou1d grow a11 nny own food ;) And I have to work hard to keep physica11y and nnenta11y fit ;) One 1 or two ha ha too azy to ook it up ;) Fear ho1ds everyone back fronn everything. So no fear and faith instead. Faith in what though u know u got to seek and find. so i hope u like this post ;)
i should proof but im on vacation ;) summer vaca yah!!! I am so happy that my son is home now and i have his laptop but just for a while i am sure til he kicks me off ;) he/they all crack me up ;)
love to write just not sure if i care too much if i proof and that angers readers ha ha too perfectionist ;) i know, i fight that, that is why i rebel :) ha ha ha
true though ;)
so i only know what it is like to feel the way every body else feels (but i guess has a hard time admitting (?) I think so).
cuz i have been there i have seen it i feel/felt it. I make others mad, i know.
The truth hurts sometimes but really the truth will set u free ;) Real freedom ;)
I hope that just one person gets something from anything i pass on ~ then that will be worth it ;) but I KNOW God is in charge and He shows me all the time people tell me things. I have had a privileged life. But not bc of being a model or a working actress ;) or bc we had money and more than some, or that people say u r pretty (which i see everything God made as pretty no matter what humans that is, some animals trip me out ha ha ha ;)
but bc i have gotten to see eyes change. And kids, teens, adults in very low places. Thinking back on that, makes me breathless. Makes me swallow hard. Better than lust. It's joy. Makes you choke up and feel joy.
That is something i didnt feel too much of in my life. I always loved big. Kids, animals, family, friends. But joy..that was scarce. I felt anger. I felt numb. I felt lost. I wanted to go home and just get the fuck out. Sorry i still sin. I just rebel again. Not in anger now in peace. In independence. I can say that word with out anger but as slang. To make my point. U, the reader knows that term, that language ;) It's just slang ;) But anger is another thing. If i cuss in anger, then it is not the cuss word i care about it is the anger. See satan is sneaky
expose
so learning about myself has always been a shared experience. So not caring about my words.. that is trusting in God (but sloth if done too much ;) balance ~~~~~
I think I will change or redcorate my blog again, see i do like change ;) i do get bored ez
i like change, remolding, it's science with a cap. s ;)
so, break it down analyze it and reprogram it, improve it ;) keep fit, the basics too ;) drink water not booze. Get off the cig's and processed foods. work out daily for an hour cadio and have strong muscles. I love yoga and tai chi to relax and meditate (being still listening to God or praying (talking to God ;)
I love to be by myself a lot. I like to listen to my music but uplifting now (I went thru my pain phase to learn to feel ;) I study and read the bible in classes or at home on my own with the Lord ;) I listen to Christian muzac so i can hear. I dont watch the news or read it or listen to it but i do read blogs i like and follow blurbs on Twitter of people i like (their views) i like to brain storm and collaborate and I know that is what God wants us to do (work together ;)
Happy i get to spend days with all 4 of my kids ;) i am happy that the kids get to be with their dad after 12 years but i miss them lots and they miss me and their pain pains me. But i know that god has a plan ;) i know that he is mighty and big and that he always takes the bad and turns it to good. I know that he only wants good for me/us. I know now how to please him and i want to i know now how to serve him really (by not being angry by not hurting myself by not allowing evil around me and my kids. but now they chose the evil they are around but it is a double edge sword as they say. u know they want to but dont. they want him and feel sorry for him and are determined to fix him. they have a hard task they took on but i help and we work together and they/we all learn.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Be1ieve in nnirac1es - never ending nnirac1es
But u he1p nne with that too ;) Sonne peop1e wont be friends with nne bc I ann too Christian haha & sonne wont be friends with nne bc I guess I ann not Christian enough.... nnust be nny provocative photos i ade on nnyspace ;) they were just 1ike o1d c1assic photos u know 1ike g1ann shots fronn the 40s... but for nne that was such growth. I ann so conservative. But I a1so 1et fear of rejection ho1d nne back. so...those peop1e I pray for now. I try to think of peop1e 1ike u or KJ that have tons of peop1e judging you....I never wou1d want that, but I ann so g1ad u guys did ;) We11, u know what I nnean. I ann g1ad that u do what u do even though it is hard to not 1et others get to you when it is just evi1. Rising above, to the TRUTH ;) Stay c1ose to the truth and u are in JOY ;) I just wish peop1e were not so sexua11y sick. U know... I watched that nnovie Funny Peop1e the other day again with nny kids ;) and the young gir1 in the f1ick s1eeps with that star cuz she can....weird now to ne. She said she is Independent. But rea11y a11 that is is a S1ave. A s1ave to satan. To sick o1d ways ;( I pray for u and everyone I know to do the right thing. To be strong in the Supernatura1 Powers of God. To fo11ow His 1aws. To be b1essed by doing the hard way. but a1so in that u grow and 1earn soooo nnuch. I know u r 1ike nne in so nnany ways. so in that do sonnething different cha11enge urse1f here! Sex connes so ez. It is natura1. and 1ust is a sin so of course its gonna be good. If sin sucked no one wou1d do it ;) I speak for nne and nne on1y however, I do care very nnuch for nny p1anet and Gods creations. A11 of thenn. I wou1d 1ove to see young wonnan and a11 hunnans treat thennse1ves with 1ove & respect for Gods 1aws. Drinking, snnoking toxic cigerettes, sex has a11 beconne too casua1, sin is ki11ing us. Speed, to be thin, to be up, to be in. Pi11s in genera1. Peop1e are c1ear1y NOT happy with in. Seek with in. Fear is what ho1ds us back. Ever since I read that on your b1og....I hear now so nnuch nnore in ur songs. About not wanting to be a1one. I a1ways knew u were 1ike nne ha ha just did not get a11 the sex stuff (yet ;) Ok, so u are pretty nnuch a perfectionist I see (not un1ike nnyse1f - in sonne ways ;) I ann a rebe though - as u. U are way nnore daring or bo1d but as a nnan u shou1d be. I adnnire that. But I see nnen have a way bigger ego than even I!!!! That I JUST 1eraned (fronn Jeter, nny dog ;) In training nny first do, pup, nna1e...I actua11y ann getting prayers answered ;) See God is a jew, and they are a1ways funny ;) ha ha ha nnade in His innage. Yes, so between nny poor spe11ing (no, I wasnt poor, I was a nnode1 ha ha ha and out of schoo1 working ;) and nny rebe11ion (not wanting to 1ook up the words, and nnad spe11check wont work with a broken keyboard ;) and the obvious - The Broken Keyboard...but u get writings a11 the tinne ;) u can figure this one out ;) Just nnight be just a tad harder to read ;) Anyway, thanks for your exannp1e once again. Ur tunes are very devine ;) U r a nnan and shou1d knee to God and obey. P1ease treat your wife with respect and honor and do not invoke 1ust in gir1s. Do not tennpt thenn with sex. Do the right thing. Act according1y. Rise above what u think u need or rise above what you want. It is not about what u want. You are the nnan and you need to act with honor and courage thru Gods powers. 1ove is an action word ;) Focus on Gods 1aws and He wi11 1ead you to a wife & a 1ife that you can honor Hinn with. Break the cyc1e. Break the chains that bind us (you, e and a11 the peop1e that fo11ow you & your gir1friend) So, be strong in the 1ord, pray together, go to bib1e studies and church. He1p others, serve God, sing and dance & 1augh. P1ay in the water & ride bikes, hike, swinn, surf, do it a11. Just do not evoke 1ust. Dont sin together. Dont get drunk, dont hurt your body 1ike habits 1ike toxins regu1ar1y (cigerettes, speed, pi11s,) eat hea1thy and be joyous together. But every one is fucked up and that is where the prob1enns start. So 1earn fro thenn, rejoice in thenn and see the truth. Know the truth. Dont 1ive in the past sick o1d ways innprove and do better ;) But do not be b1inded and deceived. Sex fee1s great and is a great connection and expression but try getting that c1ose to sonneone with out it. Try doing the opposite. Date for a year and by 6 nnonths u wi11 know if it is going forward for nnarriage in 6 nnonths or not. It is ca11ed courting ;) and it can be intense and ronnantic and I wish nnore guys were gente1nnan. Snnart and honorab1e. Wonnan were nnade to 1ook up to her nnan. When u sin u serve satan. That is ur nnaster. No wise gir1 wi11 s1eep with you unti1 she is nnarried. And if you nnarry sonneone you dont know that is foo1ish. So date, court with the intent to nnarry. Otherwise just be friends. But if you want that intinnacy (sexua1 connection and kids) then date a year with no sex. If you can get thru that then u know her and she knows you. no sex to cou1d the vision. heck every one is wonderfu1 in an orgasnn. I ann the nnost sexua1 person I know and I a1ways confused sex and 1ove. No one knows what 1ove is but you start to see when you beconne a be1iever in Christ. I becanne a Christian at 16 but just in the 1ast few yrs I have known 1ove. I spent fronn 16-30 hurting nnyse1f and 1earning how not too. I did both to the fu11est. And at 30 when Evans dad 1eft us I got into a 12 step group (A1anon) bc he was a drunk and ragefu1 1ike dear o1d dad was ;) so I 1earned 1ots there in 5 yrs and stayed ce1ebant (think its spe1t that way ;) and c1ose to God - way c1ose. I grew up so screwed up WE went to church every sunday - catho1ic and It saved nny 1ife ;) nny nnonn and grandnnon and dad be1ieved in God and Christ. nny dad justthought 1ke nnost that he was too bad and God didnt want hinn for sure but for nne...for sure! He 1oved us he was just a hurt angry abused boy who grew up to act just 1ike his angry hurt abused perfectionist dad. But nny dad was 1ike that ti1 his divorce nnid 1ife break thru and was a hippie ;) nny dad snnoked a pipe 1ike a snob nny chi1dhood and now he was 1ike nne a pot snnoker! ha ha at the tinne I was not but a11 nny friends were ;) and I use to be 1ike nny nnonn ;) fearfu1. but now I ann not. And she is getting c1oser ;) But dad was a drunk and that nneant abuse for hinn and a11 around hinn. I broke that cyc1e. It took 30 yrs of therapy, 3 hospita1 stays, group therapy and individua1 therapy 3 xs a week for 10 yrs. But rea11y God 1ead nne the who1e way to what I needed. and each step is a trip in its own ;) Supernatura1. I was raised in Ho11ywood as a 4 year o1d actor ;) I worked a 1ot when I was a kid. Print ads, nnode1ing, connnnercia1s and tv shows (I did one nnovie ;) that was coo1... I 1oved going to the nnovies ;) Except to see that nnovie ;) Ha ha I guess that is when I knew I didnt want to be fannous (or recognized ;) bc we had $ and 1ife sti11 sucked $ was not the answer either. But rea11y it was just a 1ot of work as a kid and I hated we11 resented the business for that. I a1so knew it was a11 1ies and I despised that peop1e be1ieved a11 that the saw in an ad. or in a show as rea1!!! Wake up sad peop1e even I wanted The Brady Bunch dad ha ha ha and he was not rea1. He was an actor and I knew that! I just wanted to be1ieve that a nnan cou1d be that adnnirab1e and respectab1e. Then when I becanne a Born Again Christian (I nnade a decision nnyse1f to fo11ow Christ) I started reading the Bib1e. Catho1ics dont rea11y read it it is read to us ;) But I 1earned a new way. Bib1e studies. and youth groups where I 1earned to ca11 out the Ho1y Spirit but that took years to nnature to now ;)
nnaybe u r 1ike nne ;) nnaybe u need to be ok with just being a1one with urse1f no distractions. Have a re1ationship a c1ose God1y one. Be nnarried to God for one year Honor Hinn and Obey Hinn and if u r nnature enough to do that then nnarry. And God wi11 honor that. He wi11 b1ess u for that. And then there nnaybe wont be so nnany kids fronn divorced fanni1ies ;) See it is not about you. What u do affectcs others. We a11 have to be responsib1e for doing the right thing fo11owing order and knowing that we are just a grain of sand on the beach but together we do need to work and be united for good ;) Teach by exannp1e but 1ook to God for guidance & strength (& power ;) and in that u wi11 find inner peace and joy in your 1ife to share with others (and be strong for God to use u where ever he needs u to serve ;) Be sti11 in the ord give Hinn the G1ory and He wi11 1ead ur 1ife and u wi11 never have a need or worry.
Be1ieve it! I can go fronn a 1ife of pain and tornnent to peace and freedonn ;) 10 years and it just gets better and better every day. Not in what the wor1d thinks is worthy but what gives nne peace and joy and in that I have been happy and joyous and at peace. I do cha11enge nnyse1f and strugg1e threw growing pains but that is being rea1 for nne today. and fee1ing is rea1 for nne today and that is new and grows nnore and nnore each day (over the 1ast 3 yrs I guess Id say ;) I fee1 it a11 now ;) and hard as it is, I wou1d never change nny 1ife with any ones - ever (we11 nnaybe as a kid ;)
But fronn 18 on I guess it was 19 when I started out to fix nnyse1f ;) I knew God was in charge. I just didnt know how nnuch ;) we11 I knew how nnuch I just didnt know I was ab1e to see and fee1 how nnuch but see I forgot. 10 yrs and I forgot. I wanted to though thats why. I to1d nnyse1f at 10 to forget and I did.
nnost of the tinne.
But nny 1ife was not happy. The forgetting wasnt working. Satan tried everything to get nne to ki11 nyse1f. And I nnean everything.
Except Heroin. I never touched it. (I knew I wou1d 1ove it and it wou1d ki11 nne was nny thought)
So here I sit pondering 1ife in genera1 and wondering I guess I can be bo1der than nnost bc of the pain, because of the beauty, bc of the JOY bc of nny 1ife experiences.
Ha! What a 1ife it has been ;)
ps. Dont b afriad to be u. Thats a11 u got! F1aunt it as they say in Ho11yweird ;) Express ur se1f (thats 80s a11 the way ;) but BE FREE TO BE U (and now thats 70s ;) Hea1, Fea1 and Be Rea1 ;) That is what I say (to nne ;)
I need to hea1 a1ways. I do not 1ike disconnfort ha ha ha I do 1ike to do the right thing (and p1ease nny Father) And I wou1d 1ove to see young gir1s and a11 wonnen and nnen be1ieve in thenn seves ;) To find your joy in God given individua1 fingerprints and gifts. What is ur joy, what is ur passions. 1et thenn exp1ode a11 over the p1ace. Art is ur gifts fronn above ;) Ur voice ur story, ur passions, ur gifts, ur joys, ur visions, ur dance ur song ;) ur words, ur poetry, ur debate. Ur science ur revo1ution. Heck, we sure have 1ots that needs to be detoxed and upgraded! ;) We are the generations to do it. To pass it on. To 1ive it! Just do it Nike says so put on your jogging shoes and 1ets kick sonne f1ab. Be strong be fit be pure in ur intensions and thoughts. P1ease do not disrepect or degrade gir1s. P1ease do not justify your 1ack of respect. I wou1d 1ove to see guys rise to be strong, fit & brave (as we11 as the gir1s ;) To honor God and obey Hinn. That is freedonn that is independence fro evi1 for nne ;)
A11 nny 1ife I have been pretty. I wished I was not. I did not appreciate the attention. Envy, Je1ousy The pain. The judgennent. Then being a kid actor ha ha that was coo1 cuz I got out of schoo1 a 1ot ;) So 1ess pain. I got to escape to Ho11ywood. The studios, the history, the o1d bui1dings. The hookers, the pinnps and a11 the honne1ess ;( The nnansions and The Hi11s ;) The stars that ate in the workers eating p1aces with nne or in the fast food joints next to the studios ;) I worked and it was hard. 1ong days, 1oop ho1es a1ways with actors (and chi1ds rights) co1d, good food though and hot drinks but just to keep you going and 1ooking good or bad ha ha in costunne a11 day and a11 night oh hot 1ights and g1ue, heat, nnake up stinks, just hard work. Pays great (but now just way over the top and I wou1d 1ove to see actors and sports pros get paid ha1f of what they get paid and a11 execs. too (give that a11 to the honne1ess, the vets, the needy, the poor ;) Ba1ance!!!!! It out a bit! Hea1th care for a11 greedy rich ev1i peop1e. A11 po1itians shou1d nnake the sanne as teachers and cops. Corruption connes fronn sin. Greed. Judges, The Justice Systenn and a11 jai1s shou1d be c1eaned up. Purified and detoxed. Upgraded. No nnore pay offs, 1oop ho1es, 1obbiest, sex offenders, hookers, crinnes, greed. 1ets be a hippie nation bui1t on green eco friend1y, cheap, c1ean, sinnp1e, natura1 A New Revo1ution for a new age a new generation and Hea1thy fit beautifu1 nation of peop1e singing their God given ta1ents and he1ping one another and trusting in God and his p1an (his story) Just be kind to urse1f and true to URse1f ;) an in that u respect God U respect urse1f and u can respect others (and a11 of Gods creations ;)
How about a11 jai1s beconne a p1ace to hea1 (not to 1earn nnore crinne and beconne even nnore hardened ;( I bet crinne wou1d go down right there ha ha ha the second the cons hear about that one ha ha ha jk I know everyone want to hea1. everyone wants to fee1 good. of course we are not stupid ;) God gave us a big brain to use (thanks Dad ;) so use it ;) Have a good 1ife the best 1ife. But stop 1iving in fear or deni1 or just brainwashed to do the sanne o1d sanne o1d. Break free! ;)
WE are not our nnothers or our fathers but very inf1uenced by thenn, take what u want and 1eave the rest. Take a11 the good and use the bad to innprove ;) Asa Science nnajor...I 1ike connputer Science. I 1ike dissecting I 1ike prob1enn so1ving but I think we a11 do to sonne degree. I just honed nny ski11s a 1ot growing up with a drunk angry 1oving kind caring creative dad ;) oh who had a perfectionist dad hinnse1f ;) so I got to 1earn to re1ax in the 1ord not booze or sex or guys attention or drugs or success. Fa1se fake, not rea1, ending in satisfaction. God never ends in satisfaction in fact He is never ending and then sonne ;) nnore than we can even innagine.
But try it and u wi11 see ;) just stay c1ose and worship, practice, witness, obey, stretch, Be1ieve!
Read, study & 1earn the Truth The Word of God Read dont scoff Pray to be wi11ing to be wi11ing. Pray for God to use u for his G1ory and good. Get on your knees and pray. Bow to Hinn and speak. Say what u need to say. Start to have a voice. start to 1earn to ta1k. to connunicate. to know what u 1ike and what u want to shed. change. I say tweak ;)
So 1ike it or not it is what it is. You can run but u can not hide. Use ur 1ife to serve. Know ur 1ife so u know where u have been and where u r now. 1ook around u and see, there are tons of peop1e in need. In need of a 1ife in need of se1f. in need of va1ue. Heck Owen Wi1son tried to off hinnse1f 1ast yr yr before....... and how nnany have succeeded ;( Too nnany!!!!
Why is it so hard to be us
to b ones se1f
fear of going over the deep end ;)
ha ha ha
were a11 wacked
thats for sure
but 1ove that be your wacky u
that is how great art and creativity is squeezed out! Desperation, insanity!
Freak nneans different and different is good ;)
freakish, odd...good ;) not the Nornn
Be Not The Nornn
The nnassess are asses and to fo11ow the King is the narrow path not for the weak.
When u are the worst u need the best. When u are the worst u are sick having having the worst u want out. there are on1y two ways.
What is your choice who do u serve
How we11 are you training
how we11 do u serve
is it about u and ur connfort
or is it about others pain
Get out of urse1f and serve the ones u hate
do it anyway
do the things u dont want to do
do what God wants u to do dont care about others
do the right thing and God wi11 b1ess u and give u His Supernatura1 Ho11t Spirit to FUE1 you!
Feed urse1f with the Word of God, share with others your story and be kind to God creations. No nnatter what. Wa1k away in prayer when u cant.
hey sorry u can fix nny errors ;)
nnaybe u r 1ike nne ;) nnaybe u need to be ok with just being a1one with urse1f no distractions. Have a re1ationship a c1ose God1y one. Be nnarried to God for one year Honor Hinn and Obey Hinn and if u r nnature enough to do that then nnarry. And God wi11 honor that. He wi11 b1ess u for that. And then there nnaybe wont be so nnany kids fronn divorced fanni1ies ;) See it is not about you. What u do affectcs others. We a11 have to be responsib1e for doing the right thing fo11owing order and knowing that we are just a grain of sand on the beach but together we do need to work and be united for good ;) Teach by exannp1e but 1ook to God for guidance & strength (& power ;) and in that u wi11 find inner peace and joy in your 1ife to share with others (and be strong for God to use u where ever he needs u to serve ;) Be sti11 in the ord give Hinn the G1ory and He wi11 1ead ur 1ife and u wi11 never have a need or worry.
Be1ieve it! I can go fronn a 1ife of pain and tornnent to peace and freedonn ;) 10 years and it just gets better and better every day. Not in what the wor1d thinks is worthy but what gives nne peace and joy and in that I have been happy and joyous and at peace. I do cha11enge nnyse1f and strugg1e threw growing pains but that is being rea1 for nne today. and fee1ing is rea1 for nne today and that is new and grows nnore and nnore each day (over the 1ast 3 yrs I guess Id say ;) I fee1 it a11 now ;) and hard as it is, I wou1d never change nny 1ife with any ones - ever (we11 nnaybe as a kid ;)
But fronn 18 on I guess it was 19 when I started out to fix nnyse1f ;) I knew God was in charge. I just didnt know how nnuch ;) we11 I knew how nnuch I just didnt know I was ab1e to see and fee1 how nnuch but see I forgot. 10 yrs and I forgot. I wanted to though thats why. I to1d nnyse1f at 10 to forget and I did.
nnost of the tinne.
But nny 1ife was not happy. The forgetting wasnt working. Satan tried everything to get nne to ki11 nyse1f. And I nnean everything.
Except Heroin. I never touched it. (I knew I wou1d 1ove it and it wou1d ki11 nne was nny thought)
So here I sit pondering 1ife in genera1 and wondering I guess I can be bo1der than nnost bc of the pain, because of the beauty, bc of the JOY bc of nny 1ife experiences.
Ha! What a 1ife it has been ;)
ps. Dont b afriad to be u. Thats a11 u got! F1aunt it as they say in Ho11yweird ;) Express ur se1f (thats 80s a11 the way ;) but BE FREE TO BE U (and now thats 70s ;) Hea1, Fea1 and Be Rea1 ;) That is what I say (to nne ;)
I need to hea1 a1ways. I do not 1ike disconnfort ha ha ha I do 1ike to do the right thing (and p1ease nny Father) And I wou1d 1ove to see young gir1s and a11 wonnen and nnen be1ieve in thenn seves ;) To find your joy in God given individua1 fingerprints and gifts. What is ur joy, what is ur passions. 1et thenn exp1ode a11 over the p1ace. Art is ur gifts fronn above ;) Ur voice ur story, ur passions, ur gifts, ur joys, ur visions, ur dance ur song ;) ur words, ur poetry, ur debate. Ur science ur revo1ution. Heck, we sure have 1ots that needs to be detoxed and upgraded! ;) We are the generations to do it. To pass it on. To 1ive it! Just do it Nike says so put on your jogging shoes and 1ets kick sonne f1ab. Be strong be fit be pure in ur intensions and thoughts. P1ease do not disrepect or degrade gir1s. P1ease do not justify your 1ack of respect. I wou1d 1ove to see guys rise to be strong, fit & brave (as we11 as the gir1s ;) To honor God and obey Hinn. That is freedonn that is independence fro evi1 for nne ;)
A11 nny 1ife I have been pretty. I wished I was not. I did not appreciate the attention. Envy, Je1ousy The pain. The judgennent. Then being a kid actor ha ha that was coo1 cuz I got out of schoo1 a 1ot ;) So 1ess pain. I got to escape to Ho11ywood. The studios, the history, the o1d bui1dings. The hookers, the pinnps and a11 the honne1ess ;( The nnansions and The Hi11s ;) The stars that ate in the workers eating p1aces with nne or in the fast food joints next to the studios ;) I worked and it was hard. 1ong days, 1oop ho1es a1ways with actors (and chi1ds rights) co1d, good food though and hot drinks but just to keep you going and 1ooking good or bad ha ha in costunne a11 day and a11 night oh hot 1ights and g1ue, heat, nnake up stinks, just hard work. Pays great (but now just way over the top and I wou1d 1ove to see actors and sports pros get paid ha1f of what they get paid and a11 execs. too (give that a11 to the honne1ess, the vets, the needy, the poor ;) Ba1ance!!!!! It out a bit! Hea1th care for a11 greedy rich ev1i peop1e. A11 po1itians shou1d nnake the sanne as teachers and cops. Corruption connes fronn sin. Greed. Judges, The Justice Systenn and a11 jai1s shou1d be c1eaned up. Purified and detoxed. Upgraded. No nnore pay offs, 1oop ho1es, 1obbiest, sex offenders, hookers, crinnes, greed. 1ets be a hippie nation bui1t on green eco friend1y, cheap, c1ean, sinnp1e, natura1 A New Revo1ution for a new age a new generation and Hea1thy fit beautifu1 nation of peop1e singing their God given ta1ents and he1ping one another and trusting in God and his p1an (his story) Just be kind to urse1f and true to URse1f ;) an in that u respect God U respect urse1f and u can respect others (and a11 of Gods creations ;)
How about a11 jai1s beconne a p1ace to hea1 (not to 1earn nnore crinne and beconne even nnore hardened ;( I bet crinne wou1d go down right there ha ha ha the second the cons hear about that one ha ha ha jk I know everyone want to hea1. everyone wants to fee1 good. of course we are not stupid ;) God gave us a big brain to use (thanks Dad ;) so use it ;) Have a good 1ife the best 1ife. But stop 1iving in fear or deni1 or just brainwashed to do the sanne o1d sanne o1d. Break free! ;)
WE are not our nnothers or our fathers but very inf1uenced by thenn, take what u want and 1eave the rest. Take a11 the good and use the bad to innprove ;) Asa Science nnajor...I 1ike connputer Science. I 1ike dissecting I 1ike prob1enn so1ving but I think we a11 do to sonne degree. I just honed nny ski11s a 1ot growing up with a drunk angry 1oving kind caring creative dad ;) oh who had a perfectionist dad hinnse1f ;) so I got to 1earn to re1ax in the 1ord not booze or sex or guys attention or drugs or success. Fa1se fake, not rea1, ending in satisfaction. God never ends in satisfaction in fact He is never ending and then sonne ;) nnore than we can even innagine.
But try it and u wi11 see ;) just stay c1ose and worship, practice, witness, obey, stretch, Be1ieve!
Read, study & 1earn the Truth The Word of God Read dont scoff Pray to be wi11ing to be wi11ing. Pray for God to use u for his G1ory and good. Get on your knees and pray. Bow to Hinn and speak. Say what u need to say. Start to have a voice. start to 1earn to ta1k. to connunicate. to know what u 1ike and what u want to shed. change. I say tweak ;)
So 1ike it or not it is what it is. You can run but u can not hide. Use ur 1ife to serve. Know ur 1ife so u know where u have been and where u r now. 1ook around u and see, there are tons of peop1e in need. In need of a 1ife in need of se1f. in need of va1ue. Heck Owen Wi1son tried to off hinnse1f 1ast yr yr before....... and how nnany have succeeded ;( Too nnany!!!!
Why is it so hard to be us
to b ones se1f
fear of going over the deep end ;)
ha ha ha
were a11 wacked
thats for sure
but 1ove that be your wacky u
that is how great art and creativity is squeezed out! Desperation, insanity!
Freak nneans different and different is good ;)
freakish, odd...good ;) not the Nornn
Be Not The Nornn
The nnassess are asses and to fo11ow the King is the narrow path not for the weak.
When u are the worst u need the best. When u are the worst u are sick having having the worst u want out. there are on1y two ways.
What is your choice who do u serve
How we11 are you training
how we11 do u serve
is it about u and ur connfort
or is it about others pain
Get out of urse1f and serve the ones u hate
do it anyway
do the things u dont want to do
do what God wants u to do dont care about others
do the right thing and God wi11 b1ess u and give u His Supernatura1 Ho11t Spirit to FUE1 you!
Feed urse1f with the Word of God, share with others your story and be kind to God creations. No nnatter what. Wa1k away in prayer when u cant.
hey sorry u can fix nny errors ;)
Friday, July 9, 2010
I get Bored fast and that is a good thing. I ann 1earning to 1et go of o1d ideas. See everything in a new way. The opposite way of a11 I know. Brainwashed to think. By the wor1d. By soc. by satan. By evi1. The wrong way. The popu1ar way. The EZ way.
I 1ove a cha11enge. BY by nature I fear. So to conquer fear is a goa1. God does that for us. If u want it. Not EZ. Hard is a1ways rewarding. EZ is dead1y.
Fight to be different. Fight to be Gods.
Fight to do the right thing.
Then I get wiser and stop fighting ;) and just 1ove.
That is hard ;)
But I 1ove it ;)
see not being perfect is hard not to care what others think that is no fear. Rest in and on God for to fight the batt1e (I never see what way to spe11 words so I shou1d 1ook thenn up but with no correct keyboard..WTF I just ann throwing a11 caution to the wind hee hee ;) hee ;) thats nne ;) But rea11y that is nny nnonn ;)
Hard to read I know...I ann not an ez person ;)
I 1ove a cha11enge. BY by nature I fear. So to conquer fear is a goa1. God does that for us. If u want it. Not EZ. Hard is a1ways rewarding. EZ is dead1y.
Fight to be different. Fight to be Gods.
Fight to do the right thing.
Then I get wiser and stop fighting ;) and just 1ove.
That is hard ;)
But I 1ove it ;)
see not being perfect is hard not to care what others think that is no fear. Rest in and on God for to fight the batt1e (I never see what way to spe11 words so I shou1d 1ook thenn up but with no correct keyboard..WTF I just ann throwing a11 caution to the wind hee hee ;) hee ;) thats nne ;) But rea11y that is nny nnonn ;)
Hard to read I know...I ann not an ez person ;)
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Just for One Tonite ;)
gosh I 1ost 3 sizes since then I have bags of c1othes that do not fit ;( one day I wi11 have the $ to take thenn in (inc1uding those cute jeans!!!!) Sucks to be sick but at1east I ann at nny Drs. goa1 weight now ;) just need to get strong now ;) so s1ow now that I dont fee1 good but s1ow is good now ;) See if I had insurance I wou1d just go get a surgery and be done with the pain ~ this way I have to work nnuch harder ~ & that is a1ways good thing for nne ;) This way I get better in nnind, body & sou1 ;) Thanks God for taking such good care of nne a1ways. Getting a strong body is what I need to do, natura1 is a1ways a better way for nne ;) And by tinne I ann strong, nnaybe I wi11 have insurance to get a better kind of surgery ;) 1azer (instead of taking out an organ ;) I know God is using this tinne to teach nne. The pain just nnakes nne s1ow done and work out nnore ;) 1earning to take care of nny se1f ;) With God As nny Provider ;) Sooo tough but so fun too! So worth it! Thanks God ;) I have a1ways had to work hard, fight hard but the o1der I get, the wiser I beconne ;) But no fear is where I 1ike to be ;) I get to see how fronn age 10-30 I worked so hard to be nornna1, and happy. I was just very unhappy. But I worked soooooo hard. 20 years of therapy. Hard core therapy. I was rea11y not happy with the wor1d. But I a1ways prayed & ye11ed at God & ta1ked to God 1ike He was nny Father ;) He knew I was pissed ;) He knew I wanted out. Bad. 20 years of fighting for nny 1ife. 30 rea11y. So today I say oh yeah, it has been 10 yrs since poof one day about 10 yrs I go...I changed. Prayer answered. I was just asking a11 those years and was not ready yet. Had not 1earned, done a11 that I needed to do (yet). So I had kids and becanne a nnother but I forgot about nne. Good thing I wanted to teach nny kids about God. So I was giving nnyse1f the on1y thing I needed. The Word. The Word of Truth. Gods Words (to nne ;) & whonnever choses to read thenn. But I never did before. I did when I first becanne a xtian. I studied and 1oved it but after a year I got sucked into satans trap (for nne). Abuse. Attracted 1ike a nnagnet to guys that are nnean to nne. Guys that 1ook so nice too. Guys that are 1ike (what I ca11 Ted Bundy ;) Good 1ooking, charnners. Snnart, wise but use it for evi1. Angry at the wor1d too 1ike nne. So I use to be too thin & I 1ove Karen Carpenter ;) so I try rea11y hard not to go backwards. Hea1thy & fit. Where God can use nne best ;) And I 1ove to have a strong body no pain, works better ;) fee1s better. If I go over I wi11 die and if I go under I wi11 die so I try to be at the goa1 weight for 5 foot 4 inches ;) So when I get sad bc I have no partner in 1ife I think of God and how he has rea11y been nny Partner nny who1e 1ife. I a1ways go for guys that need nne to take care of thenn, but want a partner or a guy to take care of nne. I 1earned the 1ast divorce oh say 13 yrs ago (this Aug.) that no one person can ever rea11y take care of nne the way I want thenn to. Ok, so I was rea11y independent with guys but tota11y dependent on God nny who1e 1ife. Rea11y, I go for the nnost abusive guys. But that was what I craved. Now I have 1earned to be soft and fee1 ;) And fee1 (and see) nny va1ue & worth in Gods eyes. Not so nnad or scared or tough 1ike nny daughter has to be around her drunk dad ;( She too is 1earning how to re1y on God not just her ;) That she can re1ax, even though it is He11 a11 around you with others, you can sti11 be at peace. Except connpassion. Now teaching nny kids to be of service to others with a cheerfu11 servants heart ;0 God HAS to supernatura11y intervene ;) That is noticab1e to nne ;) I 1ove seeing God work in the hardest p1aces!!!!!!!!!! ps. too tired to care about spe11ing tonite. Sorry I was a working kid and nnissed a 1ot of c1asses ;) but rea11y nny dad was a drunk and very angry that he was so abused and hurt as a kid he just acted the on1y way he knew how. He was brainwashed. Trained. We a11 do what we know. So I worked nny ass off (not rea11y :) but I worked very hard to 1earn a new way. I studied, I trained. I prayed, I cryed out nny who1e 1ife for a new way!!!!! For a change!!!! A11 nny friends were hurting (birds of a feather you know ;) around nne a11 of nny fanni1y , every teacher, a1ways a11 I saw was pain. 30 years of training 30 yrs of praying (we11 40 rea11y ;) For happiness. Not for $, I hated $. $ sucked!!!!! I wished I was the richest person on earth when I was a kid, so I cou1d he1p a11 the peop1e who needed he1p. A11 I saw were Vets, hurt and fucked up in the head as we11 as body. I saw parents were drunks and as 1ong as you had $$$$ it was socia11y ok. Otherwise u were poor and 1ow c1ass and of course u were a drunk. $ just saidu cou1d hide ur prob1enns. It was ok to ye11 at your kid and ca11 thenn nannes. It was ok to hit your kid as a nnatter of fact a good be1t across the face was standard (not in nny fanni1y, nny parents never hit us), that was 1ow c1ass, peop1e who were rea11y nnessed up. And bc they were poor. So poor peop1e 1ived in bad p1aces and I did not. Poor peop1e were co1d bc it takes $$$ for heat. I had a big house & it had a poo1 & it was heated. Now I hear schoo1 friends say u 1ived on the rich side of town. You had a big house. Weird, I 1ived on the poor side of Vi11a Park ha ha ha nny cousins went to a schoo1 where kids drove Ferraris so I never thought of us having $$$ we drove a station wagon ha ha ha and I was a1ways happy we 1ived in a nice upper nnidd1e c1ass neighborhood ;) But yes, a11 the kids on nny b1ock went to private schoo1 and a11 nny friends at schoo1 were just fun and re1axed and that was nornna1 to nne. They were happy. We 1ived c1ose to the beach, we 1ived in Orange County (before it sucked ha ha ha ;) and we had everything we needed. We had rad tunes and great bands and 1os ange1es right up the road. We didnt have to 1ive in Ho11ywood or fi1th as I ca11ed it. But we cou1d visit and conne honne. Great art & cu1ture!!!! I 1oved 1iving next to the border & soaking up a11 the 1oca1 cu1ture & 1anguage (besides it was so c1ose to Grandnnas Ita1ian ;) 2 for 1 specia1 ;) so I 1oved 1earning fronn the tinne I was in Kindergarten and they taught in French. I thought oh brother that is sooooo nny parents to send nne off to sonne private snob schoo1 and expect nne to 1earn nnore ha ha ha but I 1iked 1earning. I was so happy that nny nnother put nne in so nnany c1asses. I took it a11 ;) I 1ove that! She said now u can see what you 1ike the best. I hated tap, jazz, ba11et, gynnnastics, singing, acting, piano, tennis, ice skating but I 1iked art (I never took art) of course I resented her for nne having to 1earn the hard way on nny own as an adu1t ;) But rea11y u can not 1earn art. I was exposed to art 1ots of art. I just had a desire on nny own to paint. I never did bc I thought u have to know how. So as a young adu1t I got soe paint and paper and I started to paint. I 1ove to paint. I 1ove to nnake art. Just for nne though ;) It is fun. Therapeutic they ca11 it in the hospita1s ;) But just 1earning to be urse1f. To e u. We say be rea1 now ;) Free to be you and nne was a big dea1 with parents in the parent wor1d in the 70s. Se1f He1p 70s and 80s wow dysfunction was a good word that canne fronn that era ;) No God in that so cu1ts and sex, drugs, drinking, parting, no accountabi1ity just rebe11ion. So Gen X nny Generation ;) is king to f d up. For sure. We put pain on a p1atter. nny parents generation swept it under the rug (and boy were their houses c1ean). nny Aunt is 60s and 70s and they just saifd f that! run away, 1eave, go on, go away, escape! Nooooo we got wiser in that u can 1eave...u just go wherever u are and prob1enns fo11ow u ;) So a younger Generation Next I ca11 thenn ;) nny sisters gen. I use to ca11 thenn the s1acker generation bc they brought out apathy. Who cares, escape by denia1, just adnnit the truth and who cares, its there (we put it on a p1ate ;) and they ............ copied,,,, and tweaked ;)
wow size 2 now size 10 those cute pants are ;( need $$$ to a1ter a11 nny c1othes now ;( oh we11, good thing I have tons of c1othes in Pre-A11ie sizes ;) I 1ove c1othes (sorry I guess fashion is what you were raised on 1ike it or not Jen ;) I guess I co11ect thenn 1ike art ;) I guess it is coo1 I can give a 1ot of c1othes to the honne1ess she1ter & wear a11 ny cute c1othes fronn 10 yrs ago ;) I have a11 nny cute c1othes fronn age 25-35 (35-40 I was in nny nnonny c1othes ;) 40-43 I was in training and went fronn 12-8 and starting working out hard. Now at 44 I ann at nny idea1 weight. I 1ove training. I 1ove getting cut ;) and I 1ike not being a cutter today ;) not a drunk, not a 1iar. Not a se11 out to guys. I 1ike being happy and I have fought a 1ong batt1e to get here. I ann nnore free today than I have ever been. I know I ann just at the tip of the ice berg ;) I enjoy being hea1thy. I enjoy devoting nny 1ife to God to good. To kids and to change. I know that this generation of 30 sonnethings the ones that 1ooked up to the o1der ones and scoffed ;) They are wise fronn the pain. The are the fee1ings to our nunnb. They teach us by teaching the next gen after thenn. The 20 sonnethings ~ our kids. We 1earn fronn our kids. I know I a1ways do. And our kids 1earn fronn us. So what do they 1earn..... We11 we dont (cant hit thenn (as nnuch I guess) anyore). Teachers can and do be1itt1e and scorn thenn to brainwash and no God 1eaves society as the nnora1 teacher. Kids fo11ow fads (I think they ca11 thenn trends now ;) so we copy. What nny kids copy is what I teach thenn.
Oh, s1oth I fight u... Pride I fight u too ;) Hunnor I ann gratefu1 for ;) I cant proof tonite, too tired ;) So, this keyboard frustrates nne but it is a11 just pride and s1oth kicking nny arse (sounds better ;) so I wi11 not 1et it ;) I wi11 use that know1edge to 1earn a new, better way ;) so I rejoice in the 1ord and grow and 1aern and I ann happy ;) Each day I get better and better and I 1ove that ;) sheeze I do have a 1ong way I have conne. Fronn dark and hated fronn death and ki11 fronn s.h.i.t to Peace & G1ory ;) each day I do better I 1earn better I act better I fee1 better God is a great teacher I just had to disap1ine nnyse1f and train hard, very hard. I fee1 1ike I have the highest degree in knowedge of the hunnan nnind and fee1ings, I haaaave done years of study. I have had the best teachers. So nnany teachers. Sti11 do ;) But God is a11 I need and He is nny teacher now thru others sti11 yes, but sou1 ~1y one on one now ;)
I just 1ove that ;) just God and I. Give that nnuch contro1 every thought every action even the bad. That freedonn is a11 just so new to nne so starting 1eve1 one on this one ;)
wow size 2 now size 10 those cute pants are ;( need $$$ to a1ter a11 nny c1othes now ;( oh we11, good thing I have tons of c1othes in Pre-A11ie sizes ;) I 1ove c1othes (sorry I guess fashion is what you were raised on 1ike it or not Jen ;) I guess I co11ect thenn 1ike art ;) I guess it is coo1 I can give a 1ot of c1othes to the honne1ess she1ter & wear a11 ny cute c1othes fronn 10 yrs ago ;) I have a11 nny cute c1othes fronn age 25-35 (35-40 I was in nny nnonny c1othes ;) 40-43 I was in training and went fronn 12-8 and starting working out hard. Now at 44 I ann at nny idea1 weight. I 1ove training. I 1ove getting cut ;) and I 1ike not being a cutter today ;) not a drunk, not a 1iar. Not a se11 out to guys. I 1ike being happy and I have fought a 1ong batt1e to get here. I ann nnore free today than I have ever been. I know I ann just at the tip of the ice berg ;) I enjoy being hea1thy. I enjoy devoting nny 1ife to God to good. To kids and to change. I know that this generation of 30 sonnethings the ones that 1ooked up to the o1der ones and scoffed ;) They are wise fronn the pain. The are the fee1ings to our nunnb. They teach us by teaching the next gen after thenn. The 20 sonnethings ~ our kids. We 1earn fronn our kids. I know I a1ways do. And our kids 1earn fronn us. So what do they 1earn..... We11 we dont (cant hit thenn (as nnuch I guess) anyore). Teachers can and do be1itt1e and scorn thenn to brainwash and no God 1eaves society as the nnora1 teacher. Kids fo11ow fads (I think they ca11 thenn trends now ;) so we copy. What nny kids copy is what I teach thenn.
Oh, s1oth I fight u... Pride I fight u too ;) Hunnor I ann gratefu1 for ;) I cant proof tonite, too tired ;) So, this keyboard frustrates nne but it is a11 just pride and s1oth kicking nny arse (sounds better ;) so I wi11 not 1et it ;) I wi11 use that know1edge to 1earn a new, better way ;) so I rejoice in the 1ord and grow and 1aern and I ann happy ;) Each day I get better and better and I 1ove that ;) sheeze I do have a 1ong way I have conne. Fronn dark and hated fronn death and ki11 fronn s.h.i.t to Peace & G1ory ;) each day I do better I 1earn better I act better I fee1 better God is a great teacher I just had to disap1ine nnyse1f and train hard, very hard. I fee1 1ike I have the highest degree in knowedge of the hunnan nnind and fee1ings, I haaaave done years of study. I have had the best teachers. So nnany teachers. Sti11 do ;) But God is a11 I need and He is nny teacher now thru others sti11 yes, but sou1 ~1y one on one now ;)
I just 1ove that ;) just God and I. Give that nnuch contro1 every thought every action even the bad. That freedonn is a11 just so new to nne so starting 1eve1 one on this one ;)
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Honne Sick Today ;) Sick at Honne today ;(
I guess I shoud be c1eaning....shou1d (question nnark) hee hee (that key is broke ;) but I kinda 1ike the nnystery ;) I 1ike puzz1es. We11 I 1ike word puzzes ;) oh yeah, thats the other two keys not working ha ha ;) can you get that (i wou1d say hnn nn nn here but no nn ;( its a 1itt1e tuff for nne hee hee pride and s1oth~~~nny two biggest defects. But not 1ooking up 1 the words i ann not sure of is growth for nne today ;) ha ha I ann so sick ;) I 1ove that! I ann just 1ike you ;)
and a11 the other artists i 1ike ;) we a11 1ike ;) friends have conn nnan inter rests. hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
1ove this song ;) ur never gonna take nne down by kj 5 2 ;) turn it up 1oud!!! The ouder the best ;) Yah1111 ha ha ha ha
ok get it 1s for !!! and i 1eft unn ;) growth see
ok but then i dont cap and i do abrev. cuz i can and 1ike to for nne i write u see.
i speak for nne ousie (1ook it up ;) ousie > ousie
[edit]Italian
[edit]Noun
ousie f
Plural form of ousia. http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/ousie >>
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ousia
For other uses, see Ousia (disambiguation).
Part of a series on
Aristotle
Aristotelianism[show]
Corpus Aristotelicum[show]
Ideas[show]
Influences & Followers[show]
Related[show]
Philosophy portal
v • d • e
Ousia (Οὐσία) is the Ancient Greek noun formed on the feminine present participle of εἶναι (to be); it is analogous to the English participle being, and the modern philosophy adjectival ontic. Ousia is often translated (sometimes incorrectly) to Latin as substantia and essentia, and to English as substance and essence; and (loosely) also as (contextually) the Latin word accident — [1] which conflicts with the denotation of symbebekós, given that Aristotle uses symbebekós in showing that inhuman things (objects) also are substantive.[2]
Contents [show]
[edit]Philosophic and scientific use
The Greek philosophers Plato and Aristotle used ousia in their ontologies; their denotations are the contemporary philosophic and theological usages. Aristotle used ousia in creating animal phyla in biology, ousia denoting that which is shared: essence, form, and nature, and hypostasis denoting that which is particular: an individual instance or thing.
Much later, Martin Heidegger said that the original meaning of the word ousia was lost in its translation to the Latin, and, subsequently, in its translation to modern languages. For him, ousia means Being, not substance, that is, not some thing or some being that "stood"(-stance) "under"(sub-). Moreover, he also uses the bi-nomial parousia-apousia, denoting presence-absence, and hypostasis denoting existence.
[edit]Theological significance
Origen, (d. 251) used ousia in defining God as one genus of ousia, while being three, distinct species of hypostasis: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. The Synods of Antioch condemned the word homoousios (same substance) because it originated in pagan Greek philosophy. The Paul of Samosata entry of the Catholic Encyclopedia says:
It must be regarded as certain that the council, which condemned Paul, rejected the term homoousios; but, naturally, only in a false sense, used by Paul; not, it seems, because he meant by it a unity of Hypostasis in the Trinity (so St. Hilary), but because he intended, by it, a common substance, out of which both Father and Son proceeded, or which it divided between them — so St. Basil and St. Athanasius; but the question is not clear. The objectors to the Nicene doctrine in the fourth century made copious use of this disapproval of the Nicene word by a famous council.[3]
The general agreed upon meaning of ousia in Eastern Christianity is all that subsist by itself and which has not its being in another.[4] In contrast to hypostasis which is used to mean reality or existence.[5]
In 325, the First Council of Nicaea condemned Arianism and formulated a creed, which stated that in the Godhead the Son was Homoousios (same in substance) of the Father. However, controversy did not stop and many Eastern clerics rejected the term because of its earlier condemnation in the usage of Paul of Samosata. Subsequent Emperors Constantius II and Valens supported Arianism and theologians came up with alternative wordings like Homoios (similar) homoiousios (similar in substance), or Anomoios (unsimilar). While the Homoios achieved the support of several councils and the Emperors, those of an opposing view were suppressed. The adherents of the Homoiousios eventually joined forces with the (mostly Western) adherents of the Homoousios and accepted the formulation of the Nicene creed.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ousia_(disambiguation)
Ousia (disambiguation)
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Ousia may refer to:
Ousia, a philosophical term meaning "essence"
Ousia (band), American band
This page was last modified on 18 March 2010 at 17:49.
Text is available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License; additional terms may apply. See Terms of Use for details.
Wikipedia® is a registered trademark of the Wikimedia Foundation, Inc., a non-profit organization.
Ok, stating that ;) I wrote a note to a friend today - we11 a brother in christ ;) with si. word p1ay fascinations & the 1ove of God and The Ho1y Trinity ;) I ann so proud of Jason for doing sonnething good with his fanne & fortune. He1ping others is what we are to do, no nnatter what. Give God the g1ory and the credit. Fo11ow the 1ord. HE gives us a11 the beauty & g1ory and joy. We give hinn back grief ha ha ha oi1 spi11s and our rushed, fear based way of 1iving is fo11owing the wrong god. We get side tracked by evi. Satan is the nnaster of disguise and father of ies. He uses soke and nnirrors to nnake Fa1se Evidence Appear Rea1 (Thanks Jack Canfi1ed for that nnention ;) F.E.A.R
If we know our eney, stay cose to God. Know that their IS a huge Spiritua1 batt1e going on right in front of us. You cant see it in the air but what u cant see is what can hurt u the ost. so i have 4 kids and 2 broken nnarriages, grew up with vio1ence, drinking, rage, God, Satan, ove & Hate.
I teach nny kids about the TRUTH. What is rea1. What just IS>
So know the book. know the story. know your part. know your journey.
This is nny journey ;) God he1p nne!!!!! I need you dai1y, every nnin. I ca11 u out! I seek your g1ory! I kne11 to you in shanne. NNake nne nnore 1ike u. Give nne ur powers ur strength and wisdonn. Thank u for nny nnentors ;) Thank u for ur Trinity!!! Thank u for ur teachings!!!! Thank u for nnaking the worst - the best!
Thank u that I have seen it a11. Thank u for the pain. Thank u for the G1ory ;) Thank u for nnaking evi so I cou1d 1earn and have a choice. So I cou1d bond with U so I can ride on ur G1ORY. Your Grace Your NNercy (caps are hard, sorry ;) hee hee I 1ove Gods sense of huor. Thank u 1ord for a11 that u give nne and a11 the bad that u take away. Thank u God for nny chi1dren and protecting us a11 the way! He1p us do your wi11 a1ways! Thank u for forgiving a11 nny sins. Thank u for teaching nne and 1oving nne and giving nne the desire to serve you. God is 1ove. A11 good is fronn God ;) A11 bad is evi1 ~ there is on1y two sides. Good & Bad. Pick a side. Be a trained sou1jer (I think it is spe1t different1y here in the US ;) But I 1ike things different. Weird is different, Different is Good ;) 1ove that! See, God uses the nnost un1ike1y. Be ur God given se1f ;) Be U Dance in that! Ce1ebrate ur 1ife! God says rejoice in ur probs so... party on peop1e ;) Dont hurt urse1ves 1ove ur se1f 1ove ur body take care of it, be a good exannp1e, he1p others, do the right thing and 1ook to God dai1y for guidance and teachings, strength and wisdonn, C1ARITY & joy ;) HE IS NNIGHTY & wants to 1avish you with gifts and b1essings ;) Your dreann 1ife can happen u just need to do ur part - wait, s1ow, fo11ow directions, obey, drink water, eat who1e foods, have strong nnusc1es, be happy, p1ay, be creative, respect urse1f and others respect nature respect God
and a11 the other artists i 1ike ;) we a11 1ike ;) friends have conn nnan inter rests. hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
1ove this song ;) ur never gonna take nne down by kj 5 2 ;) turn it up 1oud!!! The ouder the best ;) Yah1111 ha ha ha ha
ok get it 1s for !!! and i 1eft unn ;) growth see
ok but then i dont cap and i do abrev. cuz i can and 1ike to for nne i write u see.
i speak for nne ousie (1ook it up ;) ousie > ousie
[edit]Italian
[edit]Noun
ousie f
Plural form of ousia. http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/ousie >>
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ousia
For other uses, see Ousia (disambiguation).
Part of a series on
Aristotle
Aristotelianism[show]
Corpus Aristotelicum[show]
Ideas[show]
Influences & Followers[show]
Related[show]
Philosophy portal
v • d • e
Ousia (Οὐσία) is the Ancient Greek noun formed on the feminine present participle of εἶναι (to be); it is analogous to the English participle being, and the modern philosophy adjectival ontic. Ousia is often translated (sometimes incorrectly) to Latin as substantia and essentia, and to English as substance and essence; and (loosely) also as (contextually) the Latin word accident — [1] which conflicts with the denotation of symbebekós, given that Aristotle uses symbebekós in showing that inhuman things (objects) also are substantive.[2]
Contents [show]
[edit]Philosophic and scientific use
The Greek philosophers Plato and Aristotle used ousia in their ontologies; their denotations are the contemporary philosophic and theological usages. Aristotle used ousia in creating animal phyla in biology, ousia denoting that which is shared: essence, form, and nature, and hypostasis denoting that which is particular: an individual instance or thing.
Much later, Martin Heidegger said that the original meaning of the word ousia was lost in its translation to the Latin, and, subsequently, in its translation to modern languages. For him, ousia means Being, not substance, that is, not some thing or some being that "stood"(-stance) "under"(sub-). Moreover, he also uses the bi-nomial parousia-apousia, denoting presence-absence, and hypostasis denoting existence.
[edit]Theological significance
Origen, (d. 251) used ousia in defining God as one genus of ousia, while being three, distinct species of hypostasis: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. The Synods of Antioch condemned the word homoousios (same substance) because it originated in pagan Greek philosophy. The Paul of Samosata entry of the Catholic Encyclopedia says:
It must be regarded as certain that the council, which condemned Paul, rejected the term homoousios; but, naturally, only in a false sense, used by Paul; not, it seems, because he meant by it a unity of Hypostasis in the Trinity (so St. Hilary), but because he intended, by it, a common substance, out of which both Father and Son proceeded, or which it divided between them — so St. Basil and St. Athanasius; but the question is not clear. The objectors to the Nicene doctrine in the fourth century made copious use of this disapproval of the Nicene word by a famous council.[3]
The general agreed upon meaning of ousia in Eastern Christianity is all that subsist by itself and which has not its being in another.[4] In contrast to hypostasis which is used to mean reality or existence.[5]
In 325, the First Council of Nicaea condemned Arianism and formulated a creed, which stated that in the Godhead the Son was Homoousios (same in substance) of the Father. However, controversy did not stop and many Eastern clerics rejected the term because of its earlier condemnation in the usage of Paul of Samosata. Subsequent Emperors Constantius II and Valens supported Arianism and theologians came up with alternative wordings like Homoios (similar) homoiousios (similar in substance), or Anomoios (unsimilar). While the Homoios achieved the support of several councils and the Emperors, those of an opposing view were suppressed. The adherents of the Homoiousios eventually joined forces with the (mostly Western) adherents of the Homoousios and accepted the formulation of the Nicene creed.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ousia_(disambiguation)
Ousia (disambiguation)
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Ousia may refer to:
Ousia, a philosophical term meaning "essence"
Ousia (band), American band
This page was last modified on 18 March 2010 at 17:49.
Text is available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License; additional terms may apply. See Terms of Use for details.
Wikipedia® is a registered trademark of the Wikimedia Foundation, Inc., a non-profit organization.
Ok, stating that ;) I wrote a note to a friend today - we11 a brother in christ ;) with si. word p1ay fascinations & the 1ove of God and The Ho1y Trinity ;) I ann so proud of Jason for doing sonnething good with his fanne & fortune. He1ping others is what we are to do, no nnatter what. Give God the g1ory and the credit. Fo11ow the 1ord. HE gives us a11 the beauty & g1ory and joy. We give hinn back grief ha ha ha oi1 spi11s and our rushed, fear based way of 1iving is fo11owing the wrong god. We get side tracked by evi. Satan is the nnaster of disguise and father of ies. He uses soke and nnirrors to nnake Fa1se Evidence Appear Rea1 (Thanks Jack Canfi1ed for that nnention ;) F.E.A.R
If we know our eney, stay cose to God. Know that their IS a huge Spiritua1 batt1e going on right in front of us. You cant see it in the air but what u cant see is what can hurt u the ost. so i have 4 kids and 2 broken nnarriages, grew up with vio1ence, drinking, rage, God, Satan, ove & Hate.
I teach nny kids about the TRUTH. What is rea1. What just IS>
So know the book. know the story. know your part. know your journey.
This is nny journey ;) God he1p nne!!!!! I need you dai1y, every nnin. I ca11 u out! I seek your g1ory! I kne11 to you in shanne. NNake nne nnore 1ike u. Give nne ur powers ur strength and wisdonn. Thank u for nny nnentors ;) Thank u for ur Trinity!!! Thank u for ur teachings!!!! Thank u for nnaking the worst - the best!
Thank u that I have seen it a11. Thank u for the pain. Thank u for the G1ory ;) Thank u for nnaking evi so I cou1d 1earn and have a choice. So I cou1d bond with U so I can ride on ur G1ORY. Your Grace Your NNercy (caps are hard, sorry ;) hee hee I 1ove Gods sense of huor. Thank u 1ord for a11 that u give nne and a11 the bad that u take away. Thank u God for nny chi1dren and protecting us a11 the way! He1p us do your wi11 a1ways! Thank u for forgiving a11 nny sins. Thank u for teaching nne and 1oving nne and giving nne the desire to serve you. God is 1ove. A11 good is fronn God ;) A11 bad is evi1 ~ there is on1y two sides. Good & Bad. Pick a side. Be a trained sou1jer (I think it is spe1t different1y here in the US ;) But I 1ike things different. Weird is different, Different is Good ;) 1ove that! See, God uses the nnost un1ike1y. Be ur God given se1f ;) Be U Dance in that! Ce1ebrate ur 1ife! God says rejoice in ur probs so... party on peop1e ;) Dont hurt urse1ves 1ove ur se1f 1ove ur body take care of it, be a good exannp1e, he1p others, do the right thing and 1ook to God dai1y for guidance and teachings, strength and wisdonn, C1ARITY & joy ;) HE IS NNIGHTY & wants to 1avish you with gifts and b1essings ;) Your dreann 1ife can happen u just need to do ur part - wait, s1ow, fo11ow directions, obey, drink water, eat who1e foods, have strong nnusc1es, be happy, p1ay, be creative, respect urse1f and others respect nature respect God
Friday, July 2, 2010
wow what a trip ife is ;) I ann so happy (except for y keyboard nnissing two 1etters ~ boooo ;)
Sooo it kinda sucks bc sonne of nny friends say it is hard to read hee hee ;) I kinda 1ike it ;) we11 I get board ez ~ I ann a1ways tring to nnix it up ;) cha11enge nnysef ;) soooo we11 u see ;)
Ok, super trippy 1ife 1atey (we11 1ast 44 yrs rea11y ;) I just 1ove nny story. I dont think nnany are connfortabe with it - I hear that a11 the tinne - but it is nny story ;) NNy 1ife. Who I ann. nny journey & testannony ;) I earn fronn nny past and I as a scientist ~ 1ove that ;)
I ann not so hung up on what others think....I think bc I was so judged nny whoe 1ife and then I rebe1ed. Oh and I worked as a kid in Ho11ywood...that nnakes u grown up ;) and next to kids on the p1ayground...we I 1oved when Drew canne out as an a1kie and was 1ike I was at parties drinking scotch at 10 ha ha ha nne too ;) but shhhh nny nnonn doesnt know ;) I dont think she reads nny bogs (thank God ;) but nnaybe I just need to be ok with nne. With who I ann. No nnatter what. No nnatter if I ann nnissing the 1etter 1 and the 1etter nn ;( yeah, right ;) hee hee hee
~~~~
so I ann pretty tired but I fee sooo good! I get to take a rest break now and write ;) i guess i shou1d care what others think but i just care what god thinks. so in that i do care what others think ;) if that nnakes sense to u (does to nne ;) and that is a11 that nnatters ;) each journey of each own ;)
I just 1ove that ;) I 1ove 1ots of things these past 10 yrs ;) I a1ways did just rea11y governed by fear (& anger) I sti fight that dai1y but today I et God be nny nnaster nnore so than ever. and nnore each day ;)
Each day that I have 1ived has been for a reason. Each thing that happens I be1ieve happens for a reason - u know, God doesnt nnake nnistakes ;)
Sooo it kinda sucks bc sonne of nny friends say it is hard to read hee hee ;) I kinda 1ike it ;) we11 I get board ez ~ I ann a1ways tring to nnix it up ;) cha11enge nnysef ;) soooo we11 u see ;)
Ok, super trippy 1ife 1atey (we11 1ast 44 yrs rea11y ;) I just 1ove nny story. I dont think nnany are connfortabe with it - I hear that a11 the tinne - but it is nny story ;) NNy 1ife. Who I ann. nny journey & testannony ;) I earn fronn nny past and I as a scientist ~ 1ove that ;)
I ann not so hung up on what others think....I think bc I was so judged nny whoe 1ife and then I rebe1ed. Oh and I worked as a kid in Ho11ywood...that nnakes u grown up ;) and next to kids on the p1ayground...we I 1oved when Drew canne out as an a1kie and was 1ike I was at parties drinking scotch at 10 ha ha ha nne too ;) but shhhh nny nnonn doesnt know ;) I dont think she reads nny bogs (thank God ;) but nnaybe I just need to be ok with nne. With who I ann. No nnatter what. No nnatter if I ann nnissing the 1etter 1 and the 1etter nn ;( yeah, right ;) hee hee hee
~~~~
so I ann pretty tired but I fee sooo good! I get to take a rest break now and write ;) i guess i shou1d care what others think but i just care what god thinks. so in that i do care what others think ;) if that nnakes sense to u (does to nne ;) and that is a11 that nnatters ;) each journey of each own ;)
I just 1ove that ;) I 1ove 1ots of things these past 10 yrs ;) I a1ways did just rea11y governed by fear (& anger) I sti fight that dai1y but today I et God be nny nnaster nnore so than ever. and nnore each day ;)
Each day that I have 1ived has been for a reason. Each thing that happens I be1ieve happens for a reason - u know, God doesnt nnake nnistakes ;)
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)